UTONAGAN
by Lololova
Summary: What if Kate Beckett was something more than just human when she's shot at Montgomery's funeral? What if she managed to dodge the bullet? What if Castle becomes suspicious? "Utonagan" means "spirit of the wolf" in Chinook Indian (Might get M-rated but right now it's only T)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:** Hi everyone! This is my Halloween Bash Entry for 2019. Can't promise how my updates will look like since I'm just right now finished writing chapter two but reason I start publishing is because I want to give you guys _something_ and this is the only way I can do it right now. I do promise this will have an ending though, I will finish it even if it might take time to update it. Hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Until next time, xxxx_

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"Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop," Kate looked out at the crowd in front of her. Couldn't believe she was speaking of her beloved captain in past tense. "He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes." And he was more than his mistakes. At first she'd been mad at him for knowing who was behind her mother's murder all along, but losing him was never something she'd want. _He had been her mentor._ "Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us, there is no victory, there are only battles." She paused, took another breath. "And in the end, the best you could hope for, is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky," she glanced behind her to eye her partner, hoping he'd understand she truly meant it, "you find someone willing to stand with you."

She took another breath, meeting her partner's blue eyes and silently wondering how she hadn't admitted her feelings to him earlier. It wasn't exactly something she should deny, it wasn't something she could hide from him forever. Turning back around to the crowd she made a quick sweep over the people before she looked down at her papers again, at the speech she'd spent too much time trying to make perfect.

"Our captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is…"

"Kate!"

His shout had her insides clench and she felt her instincts heighten. The hair in her neck raised as she realized what was wrong. _Someone's aiming at her_. She saw the glimpse he'd most likely seen, the indicator it was indeed a sniper, And before she heard the shooter pull the trigger she grabbed his arms, which were already reaching for her, and pulled him with her as she threw herself backwards. When she heard the shot ring in her ears she got furious her partner had tried to throw himself in front of her. _What if he'd been shot?!_ She would've never forgiven herself! She pushed him off of her and immediately tried to examine his body, making sure there was no blood even though she knew there wasn't. _It would've filled her nostrils if there was any._

"Goddamnit Castle!" she cursed under her breath before she pulled him with her to take cover behind the podium.

"K-Kate?" His voice made her look at him and she saw the way his eyes were meeting hers with fear and confusion written all over them.

"Stay down, Castle," she ordered as she took up her weapon, clicking off the safety before she took up her phone to call the medical examiner.

"Kate?!" Lanie answered and Kate sighed with somewhat relief.

"Anyone hit?"

"No, what about you? They aimed for you!" Lanie's worry seemed to make the M.E. hysteric and Kate tried to shake off the guilt.

"No, we're good," Kate assured her best friend before she added, "eyes on the shooter?"

She heard her friend ask someone beside her, and from her memory she figured it to be detective Esposito who had been sitting beside her during the funeral.

"No, no sign of him."

That made Kate's heart fasten and she started raising to be able to check for herself. Without warning his hands were on her shoulders, pushing her down onto her knees again.

"Don't!" Castle's voice exposed exactly how frightened he was, along with his rapid heartbeat.

His eyes were wide, looking at her as if he couldn't believe she wasn't lost, as if he _knew_ she shouldn't have been able to pull away so quickly.

"Castle, I'm fine," she said with her eyes flickering between his blues. She tried searching for reassurement, to see if he truly believed she was fine or not.

"You… you almost… I…" he couldn't seem to get his words straight, which would be ironic since he's a writer but considering the circumstances she wouldn't even try to tease him about it.

She hushed him, took one of his hands off of her shoulders in order to give it a squeeze. Before she could open her mouth again, though, her two colleagues came forward.

"Beckett, Castle, you two okay?" Esposito questioned as he looked around.

"Damn Beckett, you had us scared. Thought the bullet would hit you," Ryan sighed out in relief and Kate looked at the two with confusion in her eyes.

"Why aren't you running after the shooter?" she asked, letting go of her partner's hand in order to focus on the job. "Someone else pursuing him?"

"Yeah, we have officers searching the area already, but there's no sign anywhere. It's almost like he turned into a ghost."

Esposito looked bitter and Kate felt her skin turn pale. If the shooter was still out there, Castle could still be in danger if he was seen with her. Turning to her partner she knew what she had to say.

"Castle, go home with your mother and daughter, I'll get a protective detail to stay outside your loft. Ryan, Espo, you start canvassing the area, I'll find someone to take statements from all the guests before everyone get out of here."

"Oh no," Castle was shaking his head violently, his heart picking up speed again. "I'm not leaving you."

She was about to disagree with him again, but seeing the panic in his eyes had her heart shatter and she knew he wouldn't back down. _If places had been switched she hadn't moved either._

"Fine, but you send them home first," she said and after a few minutes of him just staring at her she saw acceptance in his blues.

With a nod he went off to meet his family, who were already on their way over to him. Ryan and Espo were already walking around the area with a few other cops going with them and so Kate got a hold of a few others that could go around taking statements. Meanwhile she'd gotten most other cops in motion she herself took off towards where she'd noticed the shooter right before he shot at her. Maybe she'd be able to pick up his scent and therefore be able to catch up with him. Once getting there she spotted the gun, the sniper. If she hadn't had the reflexes she had… What if Castle had been shot? She would've never forgiven herself if that had happened. She went down on her knees in order to get closer to the gun, tried to look like she was simply checking out the gun while she in reality was taking a deep breath for tracking the man behind the sniper. She picked up the scent and started implement it into her memory, she wanted to remember it for when she ran into the sniper again. Because she would.

"Beckett!" his voice sounded pained in a way she wasn't used to and se she immediately turned to her partner.

She heard his heart still racing and she cursed herself for letting him feel that way. If she'd spotted the sniper earlier, then maybe he wouldn't have looked so terrified for her life right now. He was jogging towards her and she raised up in order to be at the same level as him. She noticed the way his eyes kept swirling around them, most likely trying to find the sniper among the loads of police officers canvassing the area.

"Castle, you really should get going, there's nothing for you to do here anyway," she said with a lowered but gentle tone.

"No way, I'm not leaving you alone in this when there's a killer out there to get you," he shook his head with a frustration she wasn't used to see on his face.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes, tried to remember he didn't know what she knew. _If he knew then maybe he wouldn't have worried as much as he did._ But if he knew maybe he would be afraid of her.

"That's the reason you _should_ go home," she argued but also knew it was pointless. _She wouldn't had gone home either if the roles were reversed._

"No," he simply said and she could hear it was non-negotiable through the tone he was using. "Anything unusual about the sniper?"

Without groaning she shook her head no, because other than the scent there wasn't anything visual that could help them. Not without needing to examine it in a lab.

"Beckett, there's no sign of the shooter, we can't find a trail either," Ryan said as he walked up to them, oblivious to the worrisome exchange between the two.

"No one saw him either. Are you sure you're okay?" Espo asked and Kate nodded.

"I'm fine, Castle managed to warn me in time," she told them but when her eyes met the writer's she knew he was pondering over what had happened. She had been hoping he wouldn't but she had a feeling she couldn't keep him in the dark for much longer. _Fuck_. "Anyway we should get back to the precinct then, scout for traffic cameras that might have captured him. Espo, Ryan, you two stay here and call the CSU, have them examine the weapon and see if they can find anything on this spot, maybe the shooter left some prints. Once they get here you two go to the precinct and join me and Castle."

Espo gave her a look of concern and so she gave him a questionable one.

"You should go home and have a protective detail on you, it was you they were after."

"Not a chance," she bit off. "See you at the precinct."

She didn't hesitate before she turned around and started walking away towards where her cruiser was.

"Castle, keep an eye on her," she heard Espo whisper to the writer and she narrowed her eyes pretending to scanning for her car. She wasn't supposed to hear it, and as far as the boys knew she couldn't, but she did and sometimes she hated the fact that she could.

It didn't take long for her partner to catch up with her and she tried not to glance at him, she didn't need him knowing she'd heard what the other detective had said. Once they sat in the car she glanced at him to see his eyes were still blank with fright, and when she listened more carefully she could hear his heart was still pumping in a pace that wasn't quite normal for him. He was never this… scared. But then again, they had almost just been shot by a sniper. _God, what if he'd been faster than her?_ She wouldn't had been able to ever forgive herself if he'd been able to throw himself in front of her. _Good thing she is what she is._

"Castle, you okay?" she asked, it wasn't like him to sit quietly for more than five minutes when it was just the two of them in the car.

She felt his eyes turn to her before she heard him open his mouth. "No. You should've… you could've… you… how did you dodge it?"

The hair in her neck raised as she understood what he was trying to figure out in his mind. This wasn't good. This wasn't part of the plan. Not that she'd really had a plan to begin with, but she knew she hadn't been planning on telling him so soon.

"Adrenaline, I guess," she shrugged her shoulders and tried to change the subject. "When we get to the precinct could you get us coffee while I start up on the search for traffic cameras?"

She felt his eyes continue searching her face, probably looking for something she hoped he wasn't finding, before she could see him nodding in her peripheral sight. "Sure."

_**To be continued...**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:** Thank you all for your reviews and even reading the first chapter! I don't really have time to thank you all personally so that's why I'm doing it through this note, so THANK YOU! Hope you'll enjoy this second chapter as much, plus I want to let you know that chapter three is still in making so I can't promise when it'll be published. Until next time, xxxx_

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They ended up with nothing. No trail. No footage of the shooter. Nothing. _Nada_. And Kate could sense with her whole being how suspicious Castle was, how hard he tried to understand how everything had happened. He was still scared but that didn't stop him from wondering how the hell she'd dodged the bullet. She could feel the way his eyes kept wandering her features and body and she hoped he couldn't sense the tension in her veins.

"Go home Castle," she said putting her head in her hands, elbows resting on her desk.

"Not a chance," he shook his head and she sighed with exhaustion.

"You need sleep, and I'm sure Alexis and Martha are worried about you," she tried using his family as an excuse to send him away. She had a feeling his mother and daughter were the only way to make him leave.

"I've texted them, _and_ spoken with them on the phone, they're not worried," he shrugged off her comment and she rubbed her forehead in order to try refrain from groaning.

"Yo, Beckett," Espo came from the break room with a frustrated expression. "Rumors are saying the new captain is on the way here already due to the shooting. And from I hear he's not going to like the fact that you're pursuing the case."

"Why not?" Kate immediately felt herself go into defense systems.

"Because you're too close," Espo said and Kate growled, perhaps a little too beastly for her own good considering the look her partner gave her.

"I'm not too close," she muttered with a threatening tone laced into her voice. "I'm motivated."

"Some might call that too close," Castle whispered underneath his breath and even though she knew she shouldn't be able to hear it she couldn't help but give him a look. _Her_ look. Which of course only turned him even more suspicious than he already was. _Fucking hell_.

Before he could comment though Ryan entered the break room with some news in the matter.

"The new captain's here, and she wants us in the bullpen."

"_She_?" Espo commented before they all followed the Irish detective out of the room.

As they came out they saw the other detectives and officers gathering around with curious eyes searching the room as they waited for everyone to get there. The only one Kate didn't recognize was the African-American in a blue work-dress and long hair. She had a serious face and looked as though she wouldn't let anyone have even the slightest chance to think she was anything but the one in charge. _She must be the new captain_.

"Hello everyone, I'm Victoria Gates and I'm the new captain of this precinct. I'm sorry for your loss, but we got a new case and I expect everyone to work exceptionally. Either that or go home." _Yep, definitely the new captain_. "I want three detectives and one… consultant inside my office now." The African-American, Gates, looked down at some paper she held in her hands. "Detectives Beckett, Ryan and Esposito along with one mr Castle."

_Fuck. _Kate looked towards her partners and they looked about as screwed as she felt. What if she would bench the whole team? Without showing their fear, because that's part of the job, being able to have a poker face, they followed the new captain into Montgo… _her_ office. She couldn't deny the strangest feeling that clawed its way into her when she stepped foot inside her mentor's office when knowing it would never, _ever_, belong to him again. It was all so overwhelming and confusing and _she would not break down the first thing she did._ So, instead she tried focus on the facts. There was a killer out for her. A sniper had shot for her heart and missed because he didn't have the full story about her. _No one did_. Well, apart from her dad.

"Now, let's see. I assume you're detective Kate Beckett," Gates looked towards her and she nodded.

"Yes, ma'am."

"If my mother drops by, you can call her ma'am. Call me sir or captain," the woman said and gave each one of them a look as if to say it applied to all of them. "Now, as I understand it there was a shooter at your old captain's funeral and that shooter tried to kill you, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir. A sniper to be more exact," Kate replied and the captain nodded, took off her reading glasses which she'd had on the entire meeting.

"Do you have a clue about who could be behind this?"

Kate definitely had a clue, but it wasn't one she felt she could share. "Not at all sir. But I've put away a lot of killers during my years here so I think we should start with looking through if there's anyone who's been released recently."

"Detectives Esposito and Ryan, you two get on with that. I want you to pick out the most likely before you resume the case when CSU hands you over all of their findings, tomorrow I want you to hand the cases you found over to Beckett for her to look through. You two are dismissed." She waved with her hand and Kate gave her a confused look before watching the boys leave with worry in their eyes as they observed her quickly.

"Sir?" Kate questioned when they had closed the doors behind them.

"You're going home detective," Gates said and Kate felt her hands turn into fists. "I will put a protective detail on you and you will not return to the precinct until tomorrow morning when you'll be put on desk-duty and look through the cases your team will have put together for you."

"Sir, I'm not going home. I am of more use here," she was trying really hard not to sound too harsh but she could feel in the way her partner tensed that there was no question in the fact that she would start arguing if that was what it took. Apparently the new captain heard it too.

"Go home detective, that's an order," the African-American said with a strong no-point-in-arguing voice. "And for you mr Castle, my precinct isn't a playground to play around in so as of today it's your last day here. We're not in any need of a writer to disturb the detectives' important work here."

That made her tick. "You are _not_ kicking my partner out! Not to be disrespectful _sir_, but Castle here has been a part of _my_ team for three years and he's more than enough times _proven_ his worth in here."

"_Detective_," Gates said with a warning tone, her eyes narrowed. "I suggest you don't say another word in the matter. It's not your decision. Mr Castle you're as of today no longer a consultant with the NYPD." Kate was about to bite back, about to yell and show exactly how angry and protective she could be of her partner, when she felt his hand gently land on the small of her back.

"Kate," he whispered, only loud enough for her to hear and she was too busy trying to calm her raging heart that she didn't realize he had whispered it too low for any normal human to be able to hear it. Instead she focused on _his _calm heart in order to try and match her own with his. She wouldn't deny she'd done that before, listened to his heart to calm her own, it had always seemed to work for the same reason she couldn't find it in herself to truly try make him leave.

"Dismissed."

That earned the captain a quite angry look from Kate, but before she could do anything she felt her partner push a bit in order to get her body moving out of there. Once they were outside the door she growled and stormed off on her own, leaving a stunned partner behind her as she heard the boys ask what had happened inside the office. At the moment she didn't care about letting him catch up to her, she needed to get out of here, _fast_. And she needed something more to calm down. Something that no one could know about, which was why she made sure to be out of the building before her partner was done talking with the boys.

She quickly spotted the detail that had been put on her, and for a split second she felt sorry for them because they would soon not be doing their jobs anymore and would most likely be yelled at by the same captain she'd been sent home by. But she didn't care. She needed to get out. She needed to _turn_. And so, she made sure to lose them not far from the precinct and head out to the forest she'd claimed as her safe haven not that many years ago. It didn't take long, and she drove out of the city when she was sure no one had spotted her car. Once she was out of the city she found the hidden road to her favorite spot. She'd found it when she was seventeen and had felt the urge to change, at that time she hasn't had the time or patience to take the bus out to her family cabin. She'd been grateful for the scooter she'd gotten from her parents since she otherwise wouldn't had been able to found the path nor the forest.

"Here we go," she mumbled to herself as she parked the car behind the bushes she'd formed through the years to make sure it would hide a normal sized car. Usually she tried to make sure she took her bike out there but she also knew that wouldn't always be possible. As for now she hadn't been able to go home in order to change vehicle because if she had then she most likely wouldn't had been able to get rid of the protective detail.

Jumping out of the car she didn't hesitate before she started undressing, putting the clothes in the trunk of her car. Once she was completely naked she went further into the forest, to the tree she usually stood by once she changed. Bending down she curved her back, making her bones crack into place of her other form. Her arms and legs turned the same length as hair started to grow and cover her whole body, the chestnut brown hair a reminder of her own in her human form. She gritted her teeth in a low growl as she let her claws scratch the dirt beneath her paws. Taking a deep breath through her nose she can feel all the scents for miles away, flowers, grass, trees, and best of all: no humans.

The bigger than normal wolf standing in the same place human Kate Beckett had done bent its back before running off through the woods. All the stress slowly making its way out of her body as she let her paws move the dirt with the speed she set. Kate never felt better than when she was in her wolf form. She felt so free, like she could do anything, _be_ anything. The wind in her fur as she flew forward with trees and bushes on each side of her. Sometimes she wished she could be a wolf for the rest of her life, everything would be so much easier. _Except she would never see Castle again_. She had known the moment their eyes met that there was something special about him, it felt like her mom and dad had described the feelings from them meeting each other. But after the disaster that happened to her family she didn't want the same thing to happen to him. _That_'s why she had tried to push him away. _That_'s why she hadn't wanted him to shadow her. _That'_s why she was _terrified_ about him trying to take a bullet for her earlier that day. Sometimes she wished that her mom had just…

She shook her head, tried to focus on the ground underneath her paws. There was nothing she could do to change the past. She could change form, but not the past. There was no use in thinking about it. Right now, all she should think about was the way it felt being free to run around in a forest with no one interrupting her. No shooter. No new captain. No non-existing evidence. Right now it was just her and the peace she got from being a wolf.

**_To be continued..._**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N:** Thank you all so much for your patience! Here's the third chapter, hope you'll enjoy it and I hope I'll get some time to write the next chapter soon! Until next time, xxxx_

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When Castle eventually got home, he'd tried to find Beckett but her car had been long gone once he got down to the garage. In the cab home he thought he met the protective detail the new captain had put on her on their way _back_ to the precinct. For a second he thought about turning the cab around again but then figured the reason they weren't following her was because she'd been as stubborn as always and lost them. He tried calling her, but there was no answer.

"Dad! You okay? Did you find the shooter?" Alexis interrupted his thoughts as she ran into his chest, arms hugging him tight.

He put his arms around his daughter, kissed the top of her head. "No, we didn't find the shooter yet. And I got kicked out of the precinct so I'm not really okay."

"What?! What did you do to make Beckett kick you out?" his mother came rushing towards him with wide eyes.

"I didn't do anything!" Castle immediately defended himself, and his daughter pulled away slightly in order to look at him. "But apparently the new captain is not a fan of mine."

He was already trying to figure out how to get inside the precinct again, thought if there was any chance the captain would let him back in if she saw how helpful he could be. Or perhaps it was better to call the mayor and see if there was something he could do about it.

"Maybe that's for the best."

Castle turned to look at his daughter with shock written all over his face. "What does that mean?" he asked with partial fear in his voice. There was no way this was anything good. He was _just_ getting closer to Beckett, and he _knew_ she was starting to let him in too.

Speaking of Beckett, he still couldn't quite understand how she could've been so fast. Dodging the bullet like she did… it was… weird.

"Dad, you almost got _shot_ today," Alexis interrupted his thoughts again and he furrowed his eyebrows. "What if _you_ had been the target?! What if you'd been standing a little closer to her?! I would've _lost_ _you_!"

He could see the fire in his daughter's eyes, the anger and the fear taking over her otherwise calm blues.

"Alexis," he said in a calm tone but she shook her head with anger still evident.

"Don't try to minimize it dad! You _jumped in front of her_! I saw it!" She was accusing him and even though he wouldn't have done it any different he was definitely starting to understand the pain she was going through.

"Okay, pumpkin, I won't." He tried calming her, opened his arms again and she immediately snuggled close. "But I still have to help her. I can't lose her either." It was only whispers but he knew his daughter heard it, could tell by the way she was suddenly letting go of her anger and fear in form of tears and sobs into his chest.

Castle met the eyes of his mother, saw the worry she felt too but could tell she didn't blame him nor the detective the way his daughter seemed to be doing. In fact, Martha just nodded and announced she'd go fix something for them to eat on before he'd need to go out again. As soon as the food was finished both Castles joined the older one at the table to eat. They ate in silence, too much going on in every single one of their minds. Castle had started to think about the way Beckett dodged the bullet again, the way she'd _moved_ out of the way and dragged him with her. It had almost been as if time had slowed down for her and she'd moved faster than the bullet and everything else. Almost as if… _no_. Beckett made it out of her to tell him she believed in no such thing as the supernatural. Which meant that, adrenaline _had_ to be the answer. Right?

"You love her, don't you?"

Castle looked up and stared at his daughter, who was eyeing her food, playing with it the way she did when she was a kid and asked him questions about her mother. Questions like why she wasn't there, why she didn't visit often, why they weren't like a real family.

"I…" he stammered, not sure what to answer. Did he love her? _Yes_. Then why was it so hard to admit to his own daughter? "It-uh… well, it's not about the books anymore." He carefully watched as his daughter nodded slowly, accepting the vague answer.

"Then you should tell her. Stop following her blindly and just tell her," his daughter said with small anger still hearable in her voice.

Her statement had him almost choking on the piece of food he just put in his mouth. "It's not that simple," he coughed.

Alexis rolled her eyes, a move he secretly wondered if she'd picked up from the detective because she had never really rolled her eyes like that before he became his partner's shadow.

"Of course it is. If you don't tell her she won't know and she's _not_ going to make the first move," Alexis said in a matter of factly tone.

_No, she wouldn't._ Castle sighed. His daughter was right. As usual. But that didn't make it any less complicated. In fact, it was only starting to feel more and more impossible.

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Kate didn't return to her apartment until 3am and was met with a sight she didn't believe seeing until she'd rubbed her eyes a couple times first.

"Castle?" she whispered in slight surprise as the figure sitting down in front of her door became more and more clear. It was indeed her partner sitting there, and as she observed him she noticed he was actually asleep.

Kate tiptoed closer, listened to his steady heart beat. She hadn't heard it this calm in hours, _days_. Ever since they had that falling out before Montgomery was killed. Not even at the funeral had it been this calm. _It sounded so peaceful_. Kate had a big urge to just sit down beside him, lay her head on his shoulder and fall asleep right next to him. But she knew that wouldn't be a great idea, in fact, the posture he was sitting in would most likely hurt his neck.

"Castle," she whispered a bit louder than earlier, this time bending down her knees in order to get down to his level. "Time to wake up."

As gently as she could manage she reached out her hand, soothingly putting it on his shoulder in order to shake him carefully. He groaned, and she could almost swear she heard him mumble something about five more minutes. She would've chuckled if the circumstances were different. Right now, though, there was still a killer out for her and from what she could see there was no protective detail following him.

"Castle, you're not safe out here," she whispered a bit louder, again shaking his shoulder.

He suddenly gasped and jerked awake as his eyes were looking all around them, before they settles onto hers. "Kate?" His eyes filled with happiness before they filled with confusion and worry. "Where have you been?"

As so many times before she couldn't stop the thought of telling him, but it was quickly drowned by the voice of reason. The voice who had always told her that she, and especially _he_, was better off if he didn't know and simply left her alone no matter how close she'd come at telling him. She'd seen what had happened with her parents and she wasn't going to make the same mistake.

"Sorry, I've been out running," _she wasn't lying_, "I just had to get off all the energy I wasn't allowed using for police work."

"Oh." He nodded and she raised onto her feet, picking out the keys from her pocket.

"You wanna come inside?" she asked and he immediate jumped to his feet with a 'yeah' on his lips.

Kate unlocked the door and didn't close or lock it until he was inside the apartment with her. She wasn't sure why her partner had come to her apartment and focusing on her hearing she could tell his heart was pounding in a stressful manner, which didn't exactly calm her own.

"You want something? Coffee?" she asked as she got rid of her shoes and jacket only to turn around and see he was trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. _He was actually kind of cute_.

"Only if _you_ want some," he answered and she smiled.

"When have I ever said no to coffee?" she muttered and he chuckled.

She went to put on the pot as she felt his presence following her, his eyes observing her the way he usually did. _Maybe even closer than he usually did_. But she couldn't think like that, she couldn't afford to start thinking like that. Deep down she knew telling him was inevitable, but that didn't mean she hadn't tried her best to turn the tables. It wasn't that she didn't want to, it was just that she didn't want the heartache again. Not after her mother.

"So, how are you feeling?" Castle asked, his tone careful and filled with anxiety. _Not that she blamed him_.

She turned to him as the coffee started brewing and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm good, the run help. But I'm still pissed Gates kicked me out." Even Kate herself could hear the small hatred in her voice. The new captain would _not_ be able to stop her, no matter how hard she'd try.

"You know, now that I think about it. All the best cops, I mean like Dirty Harry, Cobra, the guy from Police Academy, they all have one thing in common," Castle sounded almost a tiny bit excited about something and she couldn't stop the pull in her lips.

He gave her a look as if he was trying to see if she could figure out what he was thinking about and so she decided to play his game and start thinking about it. After a few minutes she pursed her lips, "Plucky sidekick?"

He smirked but shook his head. "Well, _that_, and they always do their best work after they've been booted off the case. Like you and me."

She bit the inside of her cheek. "Well, _I _was booted off the case, you were kicked out of the _precinct_."

He huffed, "She'll take me back in." The smile spreading across her lips was the first real smile she'd worn in hours. "What kind of flowers do you think she'd like?" That comment had her laughing slightly as she shook her head.

Turning around she reached for the finished coffee pot and started pouring them their beverage into the cups they usually used. "You're stupid."

"Made you laugh," he countered and glancing to him she could see the wide smile on his lips.

She could also hear the heartbeat of his, it didn't sound as stressful as it had when they first entered the apartment. She wondered what had made him so stressful before he got there. Or maybe it had been the fact that _she_ hadn't been there that had made him start thinking things. Apparently he hadn't given up on the hope that she'd gone out on her own, considering he had stayed instead of trying to find her. Then again maybe he hadn't known where to start looking.

"Thanks." Castle took the cup she handed him and they both stood facing each other as they took the first sip.

She observed him as he sipped on his coffee, could feel the stress even as she saw the smile still on his lips. He was definitely trying to be as normal as he could. _Well_, _his_ normal. It was starting to freak her out, worry her more than it ever had before. It also made her think about what had changed. Was he starting to figure out she wasn't human? Was that what had changed? Her pulling away and therefore dodging the bullet?

"So," she started, took another sip, "that's what you came to tell me at 3am?"

He shook his head, sticking his hand into his pocket to check his phone. "In my defense I came here at 10pm."

"Yeah, sorry about that," she apologized lowly.

"It's okay, I was the one who came without even calling first," he shrugged his shoulders. "To answer your question, I-ah, I wanted to check how you were doing. I understand if you wanted to be alone but I just… I have Alexis and mother when I go home and I figured perhaps, I mean, maybe you didn't… want to… be… alone."

Kate could sense the nerves he felt, could even smell it. He was nervous about something and it made her even more stressed and nervous about what it could be about. She'd been so careful to never be overly strong or overly fast whenever he was around and the fact that she managed to dodge and be fast enough to not get hit by the bullet was a big slip-up from her end. She'd been extra careful with him since she knew he was a big fan of the supernatural, and the way he'd always tried to turn her into a believer made her even more suspicious he would be able to figure it out if she wasn't careful enough. Plus, she knew he was something more than just another human to her. He wasn't just some guy who followed her around for inspiration. It might've started that way for _him_, but she always knew there was something more. She _knew_ it was a force pulling them together. It was why she'd been so determined not to let him in so easily. She thought his small infatuation with her being a cop would fade if she was constantly rude to him. It never faded.

"Speaking of Alexis and Martha, how are they doing?" Kate asked, slightly changing the subject. Before he answered she could see the glimpse of love in his eyes, could smell it in his scent, and she felt her heart skip a beat. She'd been seeing and smelling it more often than not the last couple months. And it was getting harder and harder for her to ignore.

**_To be continued..._**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:** Thank you all for your patience! I haven't had much time nor energy to write these past weeks but I managed to finish this chapter last night so here you go! Until next time, xxxx_

* * *

Castle ended up staying the whole night, blubbering something about wanting to protect her, and she offered the couch to him. She'd considered offering her bed, thinking she'd have a better shot at surviving if someone broke into her apartment, but she knew he wouldn't take it unless it was a sharing-option. And no matter how much she wanted to she wasn't ready, wasn't sure of what she'd do if she let that happen.

"Hi dad," Kate answered her phone as quietly as she could while she closed her bedroom door.

She'd been keeping tabs on her sleeping partner ever since he fell into the darkness one hour ago when her phone had suddenly started buzzing, her dad's face and name lighting up the screen.

"Hey Katie, how are you holding up?" Her dad's voice was calm even though she still could sense the worry he still felt for her.

She sighed, she was tired of people being worried about her. "I'm good dad, you know more than anybody that I can take care of myself."

"I know," he said with a sigh, "Doesn't mean I'm not worried about my daughter though. You got anyone there with you? Lanie, Ryan, Esposito?...Castle?"

She could hear the hesitation in his voice, the small fear of her hanging up on him because of who he brought up. She might've hung up on him before because of a conversation the two of them had concerning said person. With a sigh she decided to answer truthfully.

"Yes, Castle's here, I didn't ask him to though."

"Of course you didn't," she heard him mumble under his breath and she wondered for a second if he forgot she had as great hearing as he did. "Are you planning on telling him soon?"

By instinct she turned around to look at her closed bedroom door, making sure it's still closed and taking a quick second to focus her hearing on the man still sound asleep on the other side of it. "No."

"Katie," her dad sighed and she bit her lip as she felt the tears swell in her eyes. "You know I waited too long with your mom, if she'd been… if I'd been brave enough to turn her she'd still be here."

"I know," she whispered before adding. "But I… I'm…"

"Afraid," he said without hesitation and she almost hated him for being so right. "You need to tell him, Kate. I know you're scared to but the longer you wait the harder it's going to be. You already waited three years, don't turn it into another three."

Kate backed towards her bed, sitting down as soon as she felt the mattress against the back of her knees. She put her hand on her forehead as she took in a deep breath, trying to think clear. It _had_ gone three years since she met him, since she heard his heartbeat for the first time. Well, technically she'd heard it before, when she went to one of his book signings all those years ago, but when she'd seeked him out for questioning it had been the first time she actually heard the way it beat in the same way hers did. It was during that interview she'd realized why she felt that pull towards him, towards his heart, and that's when she'd started to try and push him away with the coldness that came so easily to her when it came to keeping her heart behind walls. _Fuck, he'd gotten past them anyway_.

"I can't tell him yet dad," she said. "I will, someday, but not yet." She wasn't sure if it was a promise to her dad or if it was more to herself.

"Okay, Katiebug, okay." She heard the exhaustion in her father's voice and decided it was late and he'd been worried enough for one day.

"You need sleep dad, I do too."

"Yeah, stay safe. Good night Katie."

"Night," she closed the call and put down her phone on the bed beside her. Then she put her head into both her hands, fingers going into her hair as she let go of an exhausted sigh. She'd spent way too many nights fantasizing about how to tell him, even if she'd planned on never actually telling him. Sometimes she wondered if he'd be able to figure it out himself, if he would see her do something a normal human wouldn't be able to and come to the conclusion that it was because she wasn't an ordinary human being. Sometimes she'd fantasized about being clumsy on purpose to turn him suspicious enough to start investigating it, but she'd never act on it.

"Hey, you okay?" the sudden sound of his voice had her whole body jump in fright.

"Oh god," she exclaimed. "What the hell Castle?" It was only a whisper but she could see he blushed anyway, most likely embarrassed for scaring her the way he did. She was lucky she didn't react as a wolf.

"Sorry," he mumbled and she shook her head.

"No, I just… did something wake you?" she asked, suddenly somewhat afraid she'd been so busy with her own thoughts that she'd not heard a possible threat breaking into her apartment.

"No," he shook his head but Kate sensed he wasn't telling the whole truth, and so she gave him a suspicious look of hers in order to try and get him to talk about it. "Well…" he gave in after a few minutes, "I-ah, had a dream where you didn't avoid the bullet. And-ah, I had to make sure you were... here."

"Oh," she mumbled and ran her hand through her hair. "Well, I am. And I'm not going anywhere."

She could see his whole body relax and could hear his heart stop the pounding it had done when she had gotten aware he was in the room. _Why hadn't she heard it earlier? _Her door had been closed, _closed_, before he got inside and _still_ she hadn't heard him?! What was wrong with her?

"I should go back to the couch," Castle pointed with his thumb backwards and Kate bit her lip. If she'd been so distracted and not heard him coming in maybe it was a bad idea for him to be out there in case the one trying to kill her decided to come back.

"Or," she started, not having thought it through at all before it spluttering out, "you could sleep in here." As she noticed his eyes grow bigger she swallowed and shook her head. "I mean, as long as you stay on your side we won't have a problem."

"You want me to sleep in your bed?" he asked with surprise written all over his face.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but wasn't sure if it was more directed to herself for letting the words slip her mouth before they went through her mind. "Just remember, I sleep with a gun."

He didn't say another word, just simply nodded with a smile he tried to push down on his lips, as he carefully started moving towards her and the bed she was sitting on. He gestured towards it and Kate nodded as her lips parted.

"You take that side, I sleep on this side anyway." She rose up from the bed as he sat down on the side she'd gestured towards. When he gave her a questioning glance she explained, "I'm just going to go get ready for bed, I'll be back soon."

While she stood in the bathroom, brushing her teeth, she started to think back to the conversation she'd had with her dad. And thought about all the other conversations they'd had before that. She hadn't known how _he_'d known but from the very first moment she'd told him about her annoying nine-year-old on a sugar rush for a partner he'd _known_ what she'd tried to push away from the start. He'd immediately asked her "when are you going to tell him?" and she'd just looked at him terrified.

"_What the hell do you mean?_" she'd asked and when he'd suggested she'd tell Castle their secret she'd almost exploded with fury.

When Castle later had left that summer to be with his ex-wife in the Hamptons she'd been so ready to tell him the truth, to tell him everything, and so it had left a deeper scar in her heart than she'd been ready for. Her dad had figured out what had happened and offered going off to talk some sense into her partner but Kate had simply shrugged it off as if it was nothing. She'd told herself it was for the better. She'd seen the pain it brought her dad to watch his mate die, and she never wanted to experience something similar. Her mother's death had been bad enough and she figured it would be a lot more safe to just simply be on her own, no too close attachments. Apart from Lanie then, she'd made her path into Kate's life before Kate had even been aware of her best friend's arrival. Still, Lanie didn't know and she never would. Castle was a different story, and no matter how much she wanted to deny it, she _knew_ he was a different story. And so did her dad.

With a sigh she spit out the toothpaste from her mouth before she headed back to her bedroom. Castle had buried himself under the covers but she could see he was doing his best to stay on his side of the bed. His heart was the first sign to give him away at his try to make her think he was sleeping. The second was the quick flicker of his eyelids when he quickly checked on her as she laid down on her own side. He didn't seem to notice she knew and so she let him believe so by turning off the lights without second thought. Lying in dark she looked towards him, knowing he couldn't see a thing made her brave and she couldn't stop following his facial lines with her eyes. She didn't stop listening to his heart but simply followed the rhythm with her hearing. She could hear the second he fell asleep, and it didn't take long before her own heart followed his rhythm and put her into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

When Kate woke up the next morning she was surprised to find her bed empty, she must've really needed sleep in order to not wake up when he got out of bed. Quickly searching with her ears as she started looking around her bedroom she found a sizzling noise coming from the kitchen along with the familiar sound of his heartbeat and the scent of pancakes. Without actually thinking about it her lips pulled up in a smile at the sweet gesture. It reminded her about that time not too long ago when a serial killer had targeted her and he had, _oh so heroically_, showed up with the intention of protecting her all night. She rolled her eyes at the memory and stood up from her bed to get ready for the day. Even if she was banned from working the case Castle was right, the best detectives always did work better after being booted.

"Good morning," Castle greeted when she eventually got into the kitchen. "Here are some pancakes."

Without another word he handed her a plate filled with pancakes and maple syrup. She thanked him and sat down at her kitchen table with him following with his own plate in his hands.

"So, how do you want to do this?" Castle asked after they'd eaten about half their pancakes. When she gave him a questioning look he explained. "You have to go to the precinct to look over the cases Ryan and Esposito has dug up right? But in the meantime I could stay here and, if it's okay with you, look at your mother's case again, see if the shooter had something to do with it."

"Oh, yeah. I should actually get going, you still know where my extra key is in case you would need to leave?" Kate asked without even thinking twice about letting him stay at her apartment.

"Is it at the same place as when we worked Raglan's death?"

**_To be continued..._**


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait, and I'm sorry for not knowing when the next chapter will be ready for publishing, and sorry for not knowing how long this fic will be. Hope you're all good though and thank you all for your patience. Until next time, xxxx_

* * *

Being stuck at a desk the whole day did nothing but piss her off, turn her even more against the new captain. If this was how _captain Gates_ was going to run the precinct Kate couldn't see herself liking the new captain any time soon. Also, she could both see and feel how torn the boys were by not being able to tell her everything, not being able to ask her about what their next move should be. They'd given her as much information as they could but it seemed like any time they were about to go anywhere near her captain Gates suddenly appeared and held an eye and most likely a pair of ears on them too.

Kate was of course not able to connect any of her old cases to the shooting, she couldn't think of anyone she'd put in jail that would come after her the way someone had. The only one she could think of was the one she had no idea who it was. The one that had destroyed her family. The one killing her captain. The _dragon_. But of course she couldn't exactly tell Gates that. They had no idea if she was in on it or not, there was no way of knowing. She only trusted her partners with this, and that's how it would stay until they could expose the dragon behind it all. It was the only way.

"Hey Beckett, you found anything yet?" Espo came over to her, speaking loud enough for their captain to hear and Kate wondered if there was something else he had on his mind.

"Not really, what's up?" The answer she kept in the same tone that he did but her own question she kept in a lower tone to keep it from their captain currently pretending she wasn't trying to keep tabs on her detectives.

"We can't find anything, we're going to try look into Montgomery's records to see what was going on back then but _Iron_ Gates is keeping close eyes on us," he whispered as he handed her another file. "And we found another possible suspect, what do you think of Jerry Tyson?"

She wrinkled her eyebrows as she looked at her brother in arm. "3XK? No," she shook her head. "There's no way. I'm not his type and his M.O. is strangling. It's not him."

"You sure? Maybe he wants revenge on you and Castle for exposing him," Ryan came out of nowhere and she gave him her look as she accepted the file from Espo. "Also we got DNA off of the sniper we found but there are no matches in the system, we flagged it though," he added a bit lower and she had a feeling the captain had specifically told them not to let her in on all the details coming up in the case.

Kate watched as their captain started to move from the place she'd been standing and looked down at the files on her desk. "She's coming, go." It was a simple whisper but her brothers immediately walked away with two identical nods of thanks.

When captain Gates got up to her Kate tried to focus on the files in front of her, maybe if she stared at it long enough the woman would leave her alone. Apparently not.

"Detective Beckett, have you found any possible suspects?"

Kate closed a file and opened another, looking at yet another case with an angry perpetrator locked away thanks to her and her team. "No, sir. And I could be of much more help working with my team out on the field." Even Kate herself could hear the irritation and frustration she felt imbedded in her voice.

"I'm not going to change my mind. You have desk duty." Gates said with a hard stare.

Kate mumbled something incoherent under her breath before she turned to her captain again. "Then you should at least let Castle come help me, most of these cases have occured during his time here anyway."

The sudden change of mood in her captain's face had her insides both freeze and boil at the same time. "Not for as long as I'm in charge," she said with anger evident in her voice before she turned around and walked away from her desk.

The state and the tone may have turned her veins into ice, but at almost the exact same time they had boiled with anger because _who the hell did she think she was to come here and say that her partner_, her partner!, _wasn't good enough for this precinct?!_ She found herself having to take calming breaths in order to not do anything stupid, especially since she could feel her heart starting to race and her muscles getting ready for a change she shouldn't even be _thinking_ about while being around people. Just as she took another deep breath she felt her phone vibrate and when she picked it up to see who the message was from she immediately felt her heart rate slow down irrationally fast.

_"Hey, I took the liberty to go to the store in order to get us some dinner for when you're getting here. At what time should I expect you back? C"_

It didn't make sense how fast they had grown closer this past year, but it both terrified and excited her all the same that he was going to cook dinner for them. She glanced up in order to check where her boss and coworkers were at before quickly sending back a message stating the time she'd be home. Then she checked the clock to see how much time it was left until she could leave. One hour left. With an exhausted and frustrating sigh she turned back to the paperwork.

* * *

Castle looked at the answer and couldn't stop the wide smile from spreading onto his face. When he'd first taken the risk of getting food for them he had almost expected his partner to shoot him, because no matter how much it felt like they were growing closer he could still feel there was something about her that he didn't know. It was as if it was something vital for him to know but also something she didn't want to tell anyone. Maybe it had something to do with her walls. _Or how she dodged that bullet_.

"Don't be stupid." He shook his head as he talked to himself, looking through the same words he'd read repeatedly all day from Johanna Beckett's case.

He hadn't been able to push that memory out of his mind since it happened. Even if she had heard his cry for her she shouldn't have been able to escape the bullet, and especially not have enough time to pull him with her. If he didn't know better he'd joke about how it was supernatural speed, but he knew that didn't exist. He'd spent too much time trying to prove it existed to know for sure that it didn't. _Or did it?_ Looking down on her laptop he huffed at himself for having searched "supernatural speed" during his flashback to that second he thought he'd lose her to a bullet. He rolled his eyes yet he couldn't help but feed his curiosity by clicking the link that had a list of all the supernatural creatures that supposedly had supernatural speed as part of their abilities. There were basilisks, chimeras, demons of different kinds, vampires and werewolves. He saw the list was much longer but those were the ones that were the most popular, according to the site. alongside speed were also strength, heightened eyesight, hearing and the ability to change appearance from an animal form to a human one. Castle grumbled something incoherent as he thought about all the times he'd seen his partner in action. Sure she was strong, fast and had quick reflexes, but those were all thanks to _her job_. He closed down the site again and eyed his watch, it was time to start dinner preparations and so he stood from the desk and walked to the kitchen. He would've loved to believe in all things supernatural, but deep down he knew they weren't true. Just plots of deep imagination and the cluelessness people of before science was fact. He tried not to think about it as he made dinner, tried to focus his thoughts towards the case they were going to try and solve once and for all.

Castle was alerted with a knock on her door before he heard keys turn the lock and couldn't help but feel pride in the fact she knew he'd still be there and thought to alarm him before barging inside. He turned around just in time to see her walk in with an exhausted look on her face, which he presumed was due to the non-field work she'd been allowed to do at work. It made him dislike the new captain even more than he already did. Detective Kate Beckett was at her best out on the field, not behind a desk. She was so much better than her new captain seemed to give her credit for. Sure, he knew this case might hit a bit too close to home, but she'd dealt with cases like that before. This would be no different, if anything she was _motivated _to catch the killer. Especially considering the whole team thought it was the same person who ordered the hit on her mother all those years ago. Or at least he thought both Ryan and Esposito were thinking it too, he couldn't be sure since he hadn't been able to actually talk to them. _Wonder if Gates keeps tabs on them to make sure they didn't involve him in their case?_

"Hi," Beckett brought him out of his thoughts with her greeting as she slumped down in a chair by her kitchen table. She immediately put her head in her hands and the sigh that came out of her mouth didn't escape his ears.

"Hey, hope you're hungry," he said with a small hope to brighten her day some with the food he was almost done with. "It's ready in a few minutes."

He observed her as she nodded and wiped her hands down her face to put them onto the table. It looked like she needed some sleep, badly. But then again it wasn't like she'd gotten much sleep last night due to that run she'd claimed she took.

"So, you want to talk about the case or do you want to eat first?" he asked, simply because he wanted to know before he did something that might upset her. Truth be told he'd rather not talk about the case since he actually hadn't come any further than he had this morning, and that wasn't the good news he had wanted to give her. And by the looks of it the day hadn't turned out to give her any more leads than it had given him.

She sighed and he tried to observe her in the corner of his eyes, mostly to not make it too obvious he was looking at her and trying to figure her out.

"I think I'm in need for a run. And I suppose you've been here almost all day so how about we just eat and then you go home and I'll just run to clear my head." It wasn't a question even if her wording suggested it was, her tone told him she'd already made up her mind about this. Still, he couldn't help but try and convince her about giving her his presence.

"Well, how about I go for a run with you? I mean, it must be more relaxing having someone with you, especially considering someone still might be after you," he added the last fact when he saw the sceptical look on her face.

"I prefer running alone," she said and he felt his hope slowly fade along with the smile he'd tried plastering onto his face. "Don't worry, I have my gun." It wasn't much of an assurance according to him, the sniper had a gun too. And he could see her from a far while she could only see him if he'd come out in the open. That knowledge wasn't something Castle was comfortable with.

"But… I can be great company," he suggested and seeing the raise of her eyebrows he added. "I can be quiet company if you want."

She huffed with a chuckle in her throat. "Since when?"

He bit his inner cheek and nodded, "Point taken." He really, _really_, didn't want to leave her alone though. "Please?" He felt ridiculous, couldn't quite believe he was so deep down the rabbit hole that he was practically begging for more time with her, now more than ever. _He almost fucking lost her for gods sake!_

"Castle, I appreciate the offer, but I can take care of myself. Plus," she added, "you need to go home to your mother and Alexis, I'm sure they feel the same way about you not being home that you feel about me not being home in safety."

He hated the fact that she had a point. He'd spoken to his daughter earlier that day and had had to convince her multiple times he was safe and that he would call if and when he left the safety of his partner's apartment. To show he was serious he had even called her and spoken with her during his grocery shopping, to prove she could trust him. At the same time he'd been insistent that she'd skip school and stay at the loft, just in case the shooter would somehow come after him or his partner at their loft.

With a sigh he agreed, he would let her be. The least he could do was try.

**_To be continued..._ **


	6. Chapter 6

Castle couldn't stop shaking. The phone call he'd just gotten shook him. He wasn't sure what to believe. Was it true? How was he supposed to trust the man on the phone? How was this possible? And _why_ was it _his_ job to call back the detective?

"Richard? What's wrong?" his mother's voice forced its way into his ears and he looked up to see his mother observing him. She only ever observed him like that when it looked like he'd seen a ghost. _Maybe he had_.

Without second thought he explained the phone call to his mother. How the man hadn't really introduced himself but simply stated he was a friend of Montgomery who was in debt to the deceased captain. Castle had tried asking for the man's name before he could cut the call but he'd just repeated the same words over and over. _She needs to stay away or they will kill her_.

"Darling, you need to tell her," his mother said once Castle was done telling her everything he could remember from the strange call.

Castle wiped his hands down his face, halfway trying to hide from his mother and from the world. "I don't know how she'd take it, she'll run right at them. It won't stop her, no matter how much I try to stop her, she'll run right at them. And they will kill her. I'll lose her," he mumbled.

"But if you don't tell her, she'll never forgive you," his mother reminded him. "Cause there's no way she won't find out. She's not only a detective but, according to you, New York's finest."

His mother was right, she would find out, it wasn't a matter about if but about when. Didn't make it any less worrisome though. With a sigh he started raising from the couch, looking towards the stairs as his thoughts flew onto his daughter and what she'd think.

"Oh don't worry about her, I'll tell her where you're going." Castle turned his attention to his mother still sitting on the couch, waving her hand in a dismissing matter. "Go. Just go. Talk to the girl."

* * *

Castle knocked on the door three times before giving up. Maybe she was still out for that run. That was a hell of a long run. _Maybe too long_. He took out his phone, pulled up their conversation and sent a quick text asking if she was coming home soon, that he had something important to tell her. When she didn't answer after five minutes he started calling her. And when _that_ didn't work he truly started to worry. What if the shooter had already found her? What if they had attacked her during her run? What if…

Castle decides to go against the rules and call Ryan, screw the new captain. _Besides, who said she needed to find out._

"Castle? Why are you…"

"Beckett won't answer my calls and she's not at home. She went out for a run and I think I'm overreacting but could you track her phone for me?" Castle interrupts the detective, feeling panic causing through his veins.

"Sure, hold on," Ryan didn't even seem to hesitate before tapping away at his computer. Which made Castle realize he must've still been at the precinct. "Found it. But if she's fine don't tell her it was me tracking her."

"No problem, I'll say it was Esposito," Castle said and the detective gave him an address which he immediately wrote into his phone in Google Maps. "Thanks!"

"Text me!" Ryan managed to say before they hung up.

Castle looked at the map and wrinkled his forehead. It showed she was out in the middle of a forest not far outside the city. _What the hell would she be doing there?_ It didn't take a minute longer before he set off towards his car to speed away towards the dot on his phone. He didn't exactly follow the speed limits and so he hoped there wouldn't be any cops on the roads he was driving past.

"This can't be right," he followed the GPS onto a small, rocky road with trees and bushes on each side. _Why would she go here?_ He couldn't help but wonder if she'd been taken and that's the reason she was in the middle of the forest.

With a deep breath he tried to keep himself calm as he was getting closer and closer to her position. Or, at least her _phone's_ position. Through the thick green he started to spot something looking like a cabin and he started glancing between his phone and the cabin in order to conclude her phone was indeed inside it. _Hopefully she'd be too_. Castle had to slow down the car in order to be able to drive between the trees and bushes since it looked like someone tried to hide the road leading to the cabin. As soon as he'd finally gotten past all the greens he slowed the car to a stop. Her car was there. Castle wasn't sure if he was supposed to be relieved or stressed. Killing the engine he didn't hesitate before getting out of the car, steering his steps towards the door, behind which his phone still told him she was positioned. He found it weird that she hadn't moved an inch since he started the search for her.

"Beckett?!" Castle called out as he knocked on the door.

He waited, listened. No answer. He knocked again.

"Kate?!" He tried pushing the door-handle and when it went down without any resistance he didn't dare wait any longer but stormed inside as he called out her name again.

While rummaging the cabin for his partner he was surprised to stand face to face with pictures of a baby-Beckett along with teenage-Beckett a little now and then. _So, _this was the famous Beckett-cabin she'd been telling him little about.

"But why would she be here?" he mumbled out loud as he continued to think about it. Why go out to their cabin to take a run?

A sudden movement through the window made him jerk towards it, immediately looking out to see what had moved and caught his attention. What he saw immediately froze him and made him do a double-take. He had to rub his eyes in order to actually believe what he was seeing. Maybe now he understood why she was way out _here_.

Kate Beckett was indeed out in the woods running. _Naked_. At least that's what it looked like, because she was incredibly fast. He narrowed his eyes, tried to focus on her. _Too fast_. She was mostly a blur. _Weird_. Castle shook his head and looked outside again only for her to be nowhere to see. He turned around and walked outside as quick as he could to move to the back of the cabin, trying to spot his partner.

"Beckett?!" he shouted as he started looking around. "Beckett?!"

She would most likely kill him once he found her, especially if she was indeed naked, but he was still too worried about her to care about his own life. Castle set off towards the direction it had looked like she was running and continued to call out her name. After a few shouts he didn't only call her by her surname but started shouting her first name, hoping she'd get tired of him and actually answer. He kept glancing back in order to make sure he never lost sight of which way was back to the cabin. It was at one of those glances that he suddenly stumbled in slippery mud and he had to catch himself against a tree.

"What the…" he muttered when he looked down and saw the big paw prints in the same mud he just slipped on. The prints were bigger than a dog's and just as the thought of wolves came to him he started wondering if they weren't even bigger than those too. Also, the probability of wolves so close to a cabin in a forest not _that_ far from the city didn't feel right either. But maybe he was wrong, maybe there were wolves out there. _Then it wasn't safe for her to run all alone_. "Beckett! Where are you?!" he called with an even louder voice, vibrating with panic.

Without thinking he started to move faster through the forest, losing sight of the cabin, but for the moment he didn't care. All he cared for was finding his partner and… a sudden growl had him spin around to find himself stand eye to eye with a wolf. A _big_ wolf.

"Easy," he whispered, a hand reaching out in front of him as if to keep the animal at a great distance from him.

When he locked eyes with the beast there was something about them, he couldn't for the life of him figure out what. His heart was pounding so hard he was certain the wolf could hear it. Castle tried to quickly remember everything he knew about wolves, which he cursed himself for not knowing more about. The only things he could remember were that they usually didn't attack unless threatened and that they had sharp teeth that could go through human muscle and flesh with ease. Especially considering the size of _this_ wolf.

"I don't taste good you know," he started talking to the wolf in a low voice. Quickly he darted his eyes around them to see if he could figure out what way he'd come from, which way the cabin were. Why didn't he keep track? "You don't by any chance know where I came from?"

He turned back his attention to the wolf and saw it put its head to the side, its ears pointing towards him. Was it listening to him? Looking at the wolf he started to actually _look_ at the wolf. Wasn't it unusual for wolves to have brown fur? Chestnut brown now that he thought about it. And those eyes, he felt like he _knew_ those eyes. Before he could think any further the wolf took a step towards him and his heart started to race immediately, fear filling him as he took two steps back to keep the distance. The wolf growled low before making some kind of low howling and shaking its head in a certain direction before strutting there. For a second Castle stood frozen at his feet, but when the wolf stopped to look back at him she gave off a low growl again and _he knew that eye roll!_ When the wolf started strutting again he didn't hesitate to follow.

"Where're you leading me?" he asked but was almost certain he already knew the answer.

The wolf made a barking noise and he wondered if it was an attempt to answer him. Castle thought about this new information. _Could it really be that it was Beckett leading him to her cabin?_ Or was he simply hallucinating? Maybe she had a big dog as a pet? A dog that looked very much like a wolf? _No_, those eyes told him otherwise. And come to think of it the fur was the _exact_ same color as her hair. It would also explain the speed to be able to spot the sniper and dodge the bullet before it hit her. _Or him_. But it didn't explain _why _she always was so _determined_ to prove him magic and all things supernatural didn't exist! _Or maybe it did_. Maybe, _just maybe_, she didn't want him to know. But why wouldn't she want to?! _This was awesome!_

A low growl pulled him out of his thoughts and he suddenly saw the wolf had stopped, which had made him step closer to her than he'd planned on getting. He created some distance because, no matter if he was right or not, the wolf didn't exactly seem comfortable with him being so close. The wolf met his eyes before turning her head forward, following her gaze he noticed the cabin right in front of them.

"Thanks," he said with a cheery tone and looked back to the wolf.

Without anything else the wolf turned around and ran back into the woods, disappearing between all the trees and bushes. Castle's heart skipped a beat and he couldn't wait till she came back as herself.

**_To be continued..._**

* * *

_**A/N:** Thank you so much for your continued support! (Even though I take time posting...) Hope you enjoyed this chapter and hope you all had a great Christmas/Holiday and will have a great New Year! Until next time, xxxx_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N:** Wow, talk about motivated this weekend! It helps TONS when you guys tell me you want more. You see, I don't really see myself as a great story teller, which is why I (at times) get stuck and starts questioning myself and my stories. That's when you guys come in and helps me to find motivation to carry on a story. Anyway, let's pretend the reason I'm updating already is because it's the holidays and I want to give you extra "presents". Have a lovely end to 2019 and an even better beginning of 2020. Last of this decade but not the last of our love for Castle and Beckett. Until next year, xxxx_

* * *

Kate cursed herself. What the hell had just happened? How did he even _find_ her?! And how the _fuck_ was she going to walk into the cabin without him seeing her totally and utterly _naked?!_ Sometimes she highly wondered why she didn't keep a secret stash with clothes somewhere in the woods. Other times she's just shrugged at the idea of someone coming out to visit her when she's on a run. Her dad might go there but he knew, and honestly no one else knew about the cabin so again. _How the hell did he find out about it?!_ Lurking behind some bushes she watched him through the windows of the cabin. He was looking at her pictures and by the grin on his face she knew she'd have a hard time _not_ killing him once she decided to face him._ Whenever that would be_. Kate let her claws scratch the dirt under her paws, she hadn't dared change back to human in case he would spot her.

She already feared he'd seen her the first time she'd changed back. She'd been in her human form on her way to the cabin when the wind had suddenly steered his scent her way and she'd forced herself fleeing deeper into the woods before she could turn back into her wolf-form. Later, seeing him getting closer to her, she'd growled at him thinking she'd get him to run away. _Apparently not_. Instead he'd started talking to her, all the while he'd observed the same way he observed her at the precinct. His heart had raced in the beginning but the longer they'd had their eyes locked the quicker she'd noticed it calm down. _Fuck, she hoped he didn't figure it out_.

With a sigh Kate figured it was dark enough to try and sneak her way inside, she'd come up with the plan of sneaking in through her bedroom's window. That way she hoped she'd be able to put some clothes on before Castle found her. Without too much of a noise she turned back into her human form and moved around in the trees and bushes towards her bedroom. Jumping the distance to the second floor was no match for her, but it did take some time for her to break open the window, which she'd done a few times before in her early teens. When she finally got inside she listened carefully to establish he hadn't heard her. Being sure he hadn't she made quick works of fetching clothes to put on. To make sure he didn't understand she'd somehow gotten inside the cabin she decided to put on workout leggings along with a long shirt and picked up jogging shoes which she would put on once she was outside. Looking around she quickly went back for the window to jump out again. As she did she made sure the window looked closed before she let go of the window panel to let her feet land on the cold grass.

"Beckett?"

_Oh, fuck_. She quickly put on her shoes and jogged around the house to see him leaning out on the porch to try and see into the darkness. The second his eyes met her they sparkled with delight and, _was that_, relief.

"Castle?" she acted surprised. "What are you doing here?"

He got a serious expression onto his face which gave her a lump in her throat. "I got something to tell you, and you didn't answer your phone." For a split second she started to think about the interaction in the woods, fearing he'd figured out it was her and not a normal wolf. But the next words had her swallowing her relief. "It's about the case."

* * *

"So this man, did he say who he was?" Kate immediately asked after he'd told her everything that had to do with the phone call. He shook his head and Kate raised from the couch, started to pace back and forth in the small living area. "And the number was blocked?" This time he nodded and Kate ran her hand through her hair.

"He told me you wouldn't be safe unless you stopped pursuing the case," Castle repeated again and Kate humphed.

"That's a no. I'm this close to finding out who's behind my mother's murder, and Montgomery's. I'm not giving up just because they want to silence me too. If anything, it will bring them to me," Kate thought out loud and without any warning, being so into her thoughts she didn't hear him stand from the couch until, he put his hands on her shoulders to stop her wandering. He spun her around and what she saw in his ocean blues had her breath hitching in her throat.

"You need to stop Kate," his voice cracked and she could hear the lump he had in his throat. "If you don't stop they'll decide to k-kill you." She gave him a look saying that wasn't reason enough for her to stop. "Think about the people who love and care about you. Think about your dad, you really think he can go through with another scare? Another death?" He said and she narrowed her eyes in split anger.

"Don't you dare use him as an excuse Castle. He if anybody understand me, so don't use him to your advantage," she held her voice low, threatening even. But he didn't back down.

"_My_ advantage? What the hell do you mean?" he questioned and she was suddenly very aware his hands were still holding her shoulders. The electricity flowing from his fingertips onto her skin through the material of her shirt.

"Yes, _your_ advantage. What about you Rick? Why should I listen to _you_?" she challenged and his eyes sparked with fire.

"What about me? Of course I _care _about you! Of course I don't want you to get hurt, or worse _killed_. And as to why should you listen to me? Because of _everything we've been through together!_" He was almost shouting, so upset with her that he couldn't keep his voice low like she'd done. But then his eyes turned hurt and broken, and he looked away from her as if to try conceal his tears. She couldn't do anything but stand there, watching him, her voice refusing to be heard. When his eyes reached hers again she could see the fight between anger and breaking apart, both equal strong as he whispered with a cracking tone. "Kate, if I _lost_ you, I don't know what I'd do."

Stunned, she kept glancing between his ocean eyes and tried to cling onto her anger of him trying to decide _for_ her. But she couldn't. Not with the hurt and sorrow she saw in his blues, how broken he somehow seemed by the simple _thought_ of her being gone. _Almost like she felt whenever she thought of her mom_.

"Rick," she whispered, "if I don't do this… I don't know who I am."

His fingers hugged her shoulders and she bit the insides of her cheek.

"You are who you've always been." He looks directly into her eyes and if it had been anybody else she'd found it creepy, but with him it just felt right. "You're the one who honors the victims. You're the most remarkable, maddening, challenging and frustrating person I've ever met. You're just as extraordinary as I've said since the first time I met you."

Kate looked down, angry tears filling her eyes and leaving just as quick as new ones were produced. Anger at him for trying to tell her what to do, anger at herself for knowing she would never be able to let it go completely. It was one of the reasons she had tried to push him away in the beginning of the partnership. She knew how much he'd mean to her, knew thanks to her inner wolf, her heightened senses, that if it ever came between him and her cause it would kill her either way. She couldn't choose him over her mom, but she couldn't exactly choose her mom over him either.

"I can't let her down," she whispered as she finally dared looking up at him. "I get it, I… but it's not that simple Rick. I can't just _not_ try to find her killer, to get justice for her."

She could tell he was searching her eyes, could tell he was trying his hardest to find more arguments, or at least tried to get a grip on his thoughts.

"Okay," he said after a few minutes of silence and she felt her eyes widen with surprise. "How about we let it go for now…."

"No, Rick…"

"Wait, let me finish," he cut her off and she shut her mouth to hear him out. "We let it go for now, and when everything has passed, when they think we've let it go, we start working on it in secret. You and me. We don't involve anyone else."

She thought about it for a few minutes. Would that be enough? The trace of the man who called him would be long gone if they waited. And so would every other lead they might have found from her shooting. But then again, she was already off the case. Esposito and Ryan could continue the case without her. That didn't feel quite right though, what if the person behind everything targeted them instead. Then again the person behind it all probably only felt threatened by her, why else would they _only_ target her at the captain's funeral? Why not Castle? Why not Esposito or Ryan?

Kate felt his hands slowly glide down her arms, letting her go as if he was afraid he already knew the answer, as if he had no hope she'd agree with him. As if he knew she'd choose getting herself killed over him. But she wouldn't. Couldn't.

"Okay," she whispered with a nod.

Her answer had him look at her with wide eyes, and she could hear his heart racing, the air fill with the scent of his love for her. She felt the urge to cup his cheeks and kiss him, like she'd felt every time when the pheromones of his were released lately. She always stopped herself though, scared of what might happen if she let go.

"Really?" he asked excitedly with a glimpse of relief in his eyes.

Biting her lip she nodded. "Yeah, if you promise we won't let it go for too long," she compromised and he immediately nodded repeatedly.

"That goes without saying," he agreed and she smiled at the way his hair bounced with his nods. _The hair she longed to tangle her fingers with._

Kate tried to get a grip of her thoughts, suddenly remembering she had been out on a run she felt the need to keep up with the act of being a normal human being. "I need to take a shower and it's late. I'm guessing you want to sleep over?" she asked and he smirked at a sudden thought, to which she narrowed her eyes. By the looks of it he was grateful she couldn't read his thoughts, because he looked like he'd been caught doing something wrong as he cleared his throat and got rid of the stupid grin.

"Yes please, I can take the couch," he said before wiggling his eyebrows. "Unless you want to share bed again."

Rolling her eyes she muttered under her breath, "That was a one time only," before she started to walk away from him in the direction of the stairs and towards the bathroom. "I'll be in the shower, feel free to continue looking at all the embarrassing pictures my dad still has framed of me as a kid."

With that said she closed the door to the bathroom, not realizing she just admitted to have spied on him before she arrived at the cabin only an hour earlier.

**_To be continued..._**


	8. Chapter 8

Castle didn't miss her mistake though and his mind suddenly _raced_ with all speculations he'd pushed aside in order to tell her all about the phone call he'd gotten. Had she been that wolf? _And if so_, was it a shapeshifter thingy or a _werewolf_ thingy? _Also_, if she'd known he was there, if she'd _watched_ him through the windows, then _why _hadn't she showed up as herself sooner? _Moreover_, _how the hell was he supposed to bring it up?!_ It wasn't like he could just straight up _ask_ her! Or, maybe he could? But she would never admit it, _that_ he was sure of. Especially since she was _always_ the sceptical one, constantly making sure no one with a supernatural theory ever actually believed it fully. _Perhaps that was to protect herself_.

"Castle? What are you doing?" her voice coming from behind him had him jump as he let go of a small screech.

"You scared me!" he accused her and she raised her eyebrow in question as he tried to gather himself again.

"Anyway, I'm going to bed," she said and he figured it was for the best not to push it. Not tonight. Maybe he needed more proof first. It _was _all speculation.

Beckett opened a door to what looked like a scrub and she threw a pillow towards him before taking out a thick blanket she laid on the couch.

"Thanks." She nodded before saying night and he answered with his normal "Until tomorrow", to which he saw a quick eye roll as she disappeared up the stairs.

It didn't take him long before he laid down onto the couch, but he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to sleep. His mind was too busy trying to figure out what the hell was up with his partner.

* * *

Kate couldn't help but notice the small difference in her partner's behavior the next few days. It was not like he was avoiding her but… it felt like he was observing her with a new set of eyes. _And she didn't like it_. It made her questioning everything that happened at the cabin. After all, he _had_ seen her wolf. But she'd been so sure he didn't know, he hadn't _said_ anything and he wasn't the type to just let it pass. She was sure he would've mentioned it already, grilled her with theories of why the wolf in the forest had been out there. Or at least grilled her with the worry of having met a wolf and she being out there all on her own. _Why hadn't he even mentioned the wolf?_

Kate was so busy thinking about how weird he was acting that she wasn't aware of her partner entering the precinct nor the way her two colleagues walked out of the captain's office with mixes of furious and sad faces.

"Detective Beckett!" the captain's voice sounded through the bullpen and Kate jerked at the sudden return to the now as she looked up in time to see the irritation on her captain's face.

_What did she do now?_ "Yes sir?" she said and saw the second Gates got eyes on her partner coming from the elevator with coffees in his hands.

"_What_ are you doing here mr. Castle?" The captain crossed her arms as she looked straight at the writer.

The writer almost stumbled in his step and Kate gave a quick glance to the clock, seeing it was the ordinary time the captain took a small lunch break and also the time when Castle had started sneaking in to give her the favorite black beverage they both shared, he also always snaked her a pastry so she wouldn't skip lunch completely. This whole ordeal had became a routine the first day after the cabin, and Kate had added it to one of the differences she'd noticed. Every time he was there it felt as though he was careful around her, she wouldn't say testing her but… it felt weird, that's all.

"I-uh-I," Castle started rambling as he looked between her and the captain before settling his eyes to the coffee and bag in his hands. "I was just delivering lunch, and I'll be on my way again." He pointed to the elevator as best he could with his hands full.

Captain Gates narrowed her eyes and Kate could see the way her partner wanted to put his tail between his legs and run, which made the hair at the back of her neck rise in anger. Before the captain could say anything else she took the coffee and bag that was meant to her with a smile set on her lips, automatically putting herself between Castle and the captain.

"Thank you Castle," she said and gave him a get-out-of-here look.

He didn't hesitate one minute, nodding before turning right back to the elevator. When she saw him disappearing behind the shutting elevator doors she took a breath before turning to her captain.

"Captain?"

Kate watched as the woman in front of her gestured into her office and without another word she went inside to see what was going on.

* * *

Once Castle got home he went into his office, brought out the book he'd started to write down his theories. He'd started doing research after coming home from the cabin, _real_ research. And he'd started writing down every theory he'd stumbled across about werewolves. He'd crossed preferences on all the things which repeated in every theory. Things like the supernatural speed and strength. He'd also printed pictures of normal wolves along with all the sketches of werewolves. He'd even listed down a few times when she'd surprised him with her strength, times when the suspect should've been stronger or when she shouldn't have been able to catch up to the killer running away from them. The more he thought about it the more he couldn't see how he hadn't seen the signs before. Then again, the forever-sceptic-voice-of-reason detective Beckett was never one Castle would _ever_ suspect of being anything supernatural. Extraordinary yes, _one thousand times yes_, but never _supernatural_.

So, he had convinced himself these past few days that the wolf he met in the forest truly was Beckett, now he just needed to confirm it. He just wasn't sure _how_. He wondered if he could straight out ask her, but was rather convinced she'd shoot him down. She probably already had a "logical" reason as to why he might think she is when she's not. It wouldn't surprise him if she did. She was good at finding the logic to ruin all his theories before they truly get a go. But he couldn't exactly make her change in front of him, could he? Maybe if he followed her to the cabin without her knowing. Then again that didn't feel quite right. He wanted _her_ to tell him. If _she_ was the one to tell him then perhaps it would mean she trusted him on a deeper level than just as partners at the precinct.

The sudden rapid knocks against his loft door startled him and by the sound he could tell whoever was on the other side was either upset with him or pissed at something else. Quickly he rose from his chair in order to answer the door. Just as he put his hand on the door-handle he got a thought that it might be his ex-wife slash publisher coming to grill him about not having another chapter yet, but pushed the thought away as he prayed that weren't it.

"Beckett? What's-"

"_She put the case on hold. On hold!_" She rushed inside with her whole body screaming with anger. "She keeps saying there's no leads and a lot _more important_ cases piling up!" She's absolutely furious.

Without thinking Castle closed the door before putting his hand on the small of her back to lead her towards his study, thinking neither his mother or daughter needed to hear what she had to say about her new captain. The pushing didn't stop her from continuing her rant.

"How can it not be important that a _killer_ is still out there?! A _cop killer _even?! She's completely arrogant and… and… what's this?" Her sudden complete change of tone had him look up from the door he just closed.

"Huh?" He looked towards her and felt his blood freeze. _He didn't hide the book_.

He watched as Kate circled around his desk in order to look closer at the book and its content. Her eyes went wide and he wondered if it was because he was right or because she was shocked by his research.

"Why…" she swallowed a lump. "Why do you research werewolves?"

Kate felt her pulse accelerate as she tried her hardest to keep herself calm, to not burst right in front of him. She felt her senses going on highdrive, being able to smell his own nerves accelerating, hearing the beating of his heart harden along with his breaths getting heavier. Her hand felt like it was living its life on its own as she started stroking the letters he'd scribbled onto the page, her fingers soon finding the pictures he'd printed and glued on.

"I-ah," he started but she could hear his hesitation and so she looked towards him. That's when she also picked up on the way he was fiddling with his fingers. "Nikki Heat!" he exclaimed and she saw right through his lie. "I'm considering a case like the one we had a year ago, the one with the wolves and the vampires."

Kate looked down at his notes again, read the small scribbles he'd put down. She couldn't help but start turning the page and when his heart peaked her eyes widened at the words suddenly staring back at her.

"You…" she couldn't get any more words out as she read about all the times she'd been reckless enough to show bits and pieces of her other self. Kate let go of the page and her hand immediately went into her hair, her breathing got heavier as she fought the panic closing up her throat.

Castle didn't know what to say, the panic written all over her face was both worrisome and scaring him. He suddenly realized he'd never truly seen her panic. All the times she'd stood in front of hard situations she'd never been as panicked as she was right there in front of him. He couldn't help but wonder if that was due to knowing she could take most of the perpetrators they faced. It actually explained the way she broke the two-way mirror when she pushed Vulcan Simmons into it.

"I-I'm… I should go." Kate took a few steps towards the door but since he already stood in front of it he just needed one step to the side to block it. "Castle," she half-groaned, half-whispered.

"Please, just tell me if I'm right. Was it you in the woods?" he asked in an almost pleading tone. "Were you the wolf?"

At first he wasn't so sure of looking at her but after a few seconds of her being nothing but quiet he decided to look up and observe her whole body. He wasn't sure what her body language was telling him. Her eyes weren't looking at him. Did that mean it was true? Or was she preparing what to say when she called the mental institute.

* * *

_**A/N:** Hi! I'm once again so so so sorry for the bad updating and I wish I hadn't posted this fic before I was almost finished writing it because I hate not being able to update it the way I wish I could... I'm really grateful for all of your patience, you have _no_ idea how grateful I am! Hopefully you still enjoy this story and can forgive me for the bad updating..._

_Anyway, until next time, xxxx_


	9. Chapter 9

Kate's blood had turned to ice, her mind running wild with all the possibilities. She could run, could just shove him out of the way and run. She could… she _could_ follow her father's advice and just tell him. Swear him to secrecy. Though a part of her knew that if he knew he could be a liability. What if he told someone else? Or worse, what if he told his daughter and mother and _they_ told someone else? She deep down knew she could trust _him_ but she wasn't so sure his trust in them would be any good for her. And how long would it take before the one behind her mother's murder would find out about her secret if she told him? _Fuck_, how did this even happen? Why had she been her wolf when he was out there in the woods? Why hadn't she felt his scent? _Maybe she had_. Suddenly she felt her whole body relax, her shoulders slumping down in defeat. _She had smelled him_. _She'd just chosen not to care_. She felt her head hang low as she started taking deep breaths.

"Yes," she whispered, just a little louder than a breath and almost not loud enough for him to hear. But he did.

She only glanced at him as she saw his whole body first tense and then she could smell the relief and …. was that … _joy_? coming from his body.

"You're a werewolf?" he squealed and she flinched as she thought about Alexis and Martha who were probably upstairs. Sure, he'd closed the door but _still_. Without saying anything she just nodded, hoping he wouldn't demand her to say it aloud. "This is so cool!" His childish-like excitement had her growl and roll her eyes in irritation, also had her arms finding themselves going around her middle in order to hug herself. It didn't help much but at least she started to feel like she had somewhat control over her body, and a chance to shield it from his observing eyes.

"No, it's not. And stop yelling, it's not something we want to tell everyone," she hissed as her arms tightened around her.

"We?" _Of course_ he noticed that _one_ word admitting there's more of her than he should know. "Who else? Ryan? No, wait, Espo! That would explain his protectiveness of you and Ryan, if he sees you as part of his pack," Castle immediately started theorizing and Kate shook her head.

"What? No! None of them know," she said and then narrowed her eyes at him, really staring at him with a promise of a threat in her eyes. "And they _can't _know."

He just grinned back and she wondered how he had never seen her threats as real. It was almost like he _couldn't_ be terrified of her, not like other humans were when she strained her eyes on them.

"So, does that mean I'm the first human who knows about you?" his excitement didn't falter at all and she had to bite her lower lip in order not to get affected by it.

"No, you're not," she said truthfully before changing the subject. "And don't you dare add this part of me to Nikki Heat."

He chuckled, "Who would believe it was real anyway?" When he saw the terrified look in her eyes his smile softened and he shook his head. "I promise I won't. Nikki Heat won't have anything to do with werewolves part from that perhaps the wacko-cases or superstitious criminals she might stumble upon, out of which none will turn out to be actual werewolves."

Castle could see her body relax and wondered who the first human knowing her secret was, but figured since she changed the subject she probably didn't want to talk about it. _Yet_. He made a mental note to remember to ask her at a later time, when she felt more comfortable with him knowing the truth. And even though he had _millions_ of questions he did notice the reluctance from her to continue this conversation, and so he decided to ask something else.

"So, captain Gates shut down the case?"

He immediately saw the relief mixed with the anger he'd seen when she first walked inside his door that evening and knew the distraction had worked.

"Yeah, she called me in about an hour ago and told me. Said the case had gone cold and that the mayor along with 1PP was asking her why she still had her best detectives on the case when there were so many more murderers out there. Can you believe that?"

"Maybe it's for the best," he said and the daggers shooting out of her eyes made him sigh as he prepared to explain himself. "We're not supposed to work the case anyway, not yet. Not when they're watching you so closely."

Kate felt frustrated, not because he was being impossible, but because he was right. This way they would stop looking at her looking into the case faster because it would truly look like she wasn't working the case anymore. With a sigh she wiped her face with her hands, continuing one of her hands into her hair in order to untangle the tangles that had appeared sometime during her run to his loft.

"I just…" she started as she looked down in the book he'd written in again. "It feels as though I'm letting her down, myself too. If I hadn't been fast enough, that bullet _would_'ve gone through my heart."

"You're not, we're just putting it on pause for a while. Just like we agreed at the cabin." His ocean eyes searched hers and when she let herself meet them she knew it was the right thing to do. For now. With that she nodded, agreeing once again with his plan to wait a while. "So, superspeed huh?" Castle questioned and she looked down at the book again.

"Where did you find all this anyway?" she asked instead of answering as she read the pointers he'd written down.

He shrugged his shoulders and walked closer to be able to read what she was reading. "There's this thing called the internet, plus there's quite a few e-books to buy as well," he stated and she 'oh'ed.

"Then, yes. I wouldn't call it superspeed, but my reflexes are faster than humans'. Same with the strength, since we run a lot and use a lot of our muscles in a way humans don't then we are usually stronger," she explained as she picked up the book to start look through it.

"Really? Do you have better eyesight as well? Hearing? How does your smell work considering you work with dead bodies, doesn't the smell get too much?" he scrunched his nose and Kate didn't know wether to laugh at his eagerness to learn or feel terrified for letting him know. Cause it _did_ terrify her that he now knew.

"I can see better in dark than most, actually most of my senses are alike a wolf's. So, the smelling thing is both a curse and a blessing. If the killer's close and has left his or her scent at the crime scene I can follow it and then find the evidence I need to prove who the killer is."

"Ah, so all those hunches are practically you cheating," he stated and she huffed.

"It's not cheating when it comes to the truth, just because I use my senses doesn't make it cheating," she told him and continued looking through his book. One question popped out on the last page he'd written on. _How does one turn? Bite? Genetics?_ Did that mean he wanted to know in order for him to be turned or for him to know what not to let her do to him? It wasn't something she felt willing to tell him just yet.

"Why doesn't Ryan or Esposito know? Does Lanie know?" Castle asked and brought her back to the now.

"No, no one knows. It's not safe for us, if people found out we were real all the wars against one another would stop but the whole world would turn against us instead," Kate explained the same way her father and mother had told her when she was little and wanted to tell her friends so she could be herself around them.

Her parents had been careful to teach her it was for the best if no one knew about her abilities or why she had them. Her father had at a few moments admitted he'd not wanted her to get his genetics due to the injustice that left her when she wanted to play with her friends. But at the same time he was glad because it made her so much alike him while she got her looks from her mother. Her mother had also told it from her perspective, how she'd loved her father long before he told her what he was and that if he'd told her sooner she probably would've gotten too scared of him.

"But," he brought her back again. "Who else knows? You said I wasn't the first human."

She could feel his hesitation, the curiosity that quite often got the better of him. He was always too invested in her, always wanting to know more than she would've let on before. But now it was no point in really hiding anymore since he knew her darkest secret.

"My mom. She was human, my dad's the wolf," Kate told him and he 'oh'ed. "Which is why she wasn't able to react fast enough when she was stabbed. Also the reason my dad beat himself up with booze, blaming himself for not turning her sooner."

"So you can turn whoever? You don't have to be born with it?" Castle questioned and she bit the inside of her cheek.

Before she could come up with an answer she heard a creak in the staircase and so she shut her mouth and gestured towards the sound for him to understand why she got quiet. Castle looked through the book shelves and saw his daughter walk towards the fridge. They stayed quiet, Castle watching as his daughter grabbed a bottle of water before returning to her bedroom and Kate simply listening to hear the bedroom door click shut again. Once it's shut Kate took out her phone to check the time.

"I should get going, Gates wants us to start early tomorrow," she mumbled, still a bit irritated by her new captain.

"Wait, what about all the questions I have?" He gave her a pleading expression, probably hoping it would make her stay longer.

Kate narrowed her eyes, tried to think about a way that would work for the both of them. "Fine, two more questions but then I really have to get going."

He jumped with excitement and she wasn't able to stop the chuckle escaping her lips at his childishness. She never figured he would take all this so lightly, never had heard of a human taking things so easily when it came to being opened into the world of werewolves.

"Okay, two questions… let me just think," he said and she chuckled again.

"Why, I thought you already had the questions," she teased him and he smirked.

"Of course I do, but you just limited it to only two, I gotta think about which ones I want answered the most right now," he said with a 'duh' kind of voice and she shook her head. He was ridiculous. _My ridiculous_.

She waited, and waited, and waited. She observed him and could see thoughts come and go as he tried to come up with which to ask her. He softly mumbled to himself and she wondered if he'd forgotten about her answer about her senses earlier, if he'd forgotten she could hear him clear as day even though she shouldn't.

"Okay, first question," he suddenly turned to her and she prepared herself mentally. "Are you able to turn whenever, no matter how the moon looks?"

"The whole full moon thing is just a myth, the full moon just makes it even easier for us to see in the dark but it's not really something we need," Kate explained as best she could.

When she took in a deep breath to prepare for his next question she could smell the nerves rolling off his body, and she felt her whole body stiffen at the realization that his next question would most likely be a hard one.

"Can I see you turn?"

* * *

_**A/N:** I'm so so so so so sorry for the long wait I'm putting you guys through. I'm just kinda stuck... I want to continue it but as of right now I have no clue in what direction I want to go with this story. I'm working on it, I can promise you that! Right now I'm regretting posting this story without a full story already written in my head, I'm sorry I did that to you guys._

_I don't know when I will be able to update next time, have a lot at work too which doesn't exactly help. Hope you're all good though, until next time, xxxx_


	10. Chapter 10

They've grown closer the past few months. If someone had told Kate Beckett that revealing her wolf to her partner would've made her feel more open and free she would've told them they were delusional. Her dad had known she'd told her partner the second she'd blushed when he told her she should just tell the guy already. Speaking of blushing she'd blushed ferociously when Castle had asked if she could turn in front of him. Of course she'd told him no, when he asked why she'd told him she didn't want to risk his daughter or mother coming down and seeing a wolf in their loft. She hadn't mentioned the fact that for her to change she'd need to dispose of all of her clothes, and that would mean standing naked in front of him either before turning or after turning back.

The day after she'd found her partner going into the precinct with no intention of leaving, and when she'd seen the captain come with furious steps she'd warned him about it but he'd just worn a smirk on his face making her confused. It wasn't until the captain hissed at them to follow her into her office that Kate found out Castle had used his contacts to weasel his way back into the precinct again. She had wanted to laugh, hug him tight at the realization that he was back, but she'd just managed to keep it all inside of her, only showing a small smile. Partial due to the furious captain they now had watching their every move, hoping Castle would make a mistake so she could throw him out, and partially because she still didn't want him to know the kind of impact he had on her life. But during the past few months, with the constant dinners at either her apartment or his loft she had a feeling they were past that now.

He continued asking his questions, and she continued answering them. Sometimes he'd ask during a case, when no one else was around, and sometimes she'd tell him something she discovered thanks to her heightened senses _without_ him asking. She wasn't sure how or when but he didn't hesitate to touch her anymore, probably somehow knowing she wouldn't shot him for it, but every touch had her body igniting with the want of more. There was a part of her wondering if he felt the same kind of ignition, or if it was because she was the wolf that she felt it. She'd known all along he was the one she should be with, but how does one tell someone that? How would she tell _him_ that? He who had asked her about soulmates, asking if wolves had them and knew of them. He who had almost specifically asked if she knew who was hers. And she'd told him no, and then distracted him with another fact she thought would take his mind elsewhere.

Now, sitting at her desk she couldn't stop following him with her eyes. Watching as he was in the breakroom, making them coffees. Biting her lip she thought about that morning, that night. He'd come over for dinner as usual, what had not been the usual had been that he'd fallen asleep at her place. They'd watched a movie and without thinking she'd started leaning into him, being too tired to care. She'd falled asleep like that and when she woke up he'd fallen asleep too, his arms a tight hug around her. Her first thought had been to remove herself, wake him up and send him home. But before she did he'd whispered her name on a breath and she hadn't been able to find it in herself to wake him. Instead she'd snuggled closer, breathed in his scent, and fallen back asleep. This morning it hadn't been as awkward as she thought it would be, they'd just eaten breakfast together while continuing the discussion of how she had the same hair color as a wolf as she did as human. He'd asked if it would turn blue if she were to color her hair, it had made her laugh as she told him no. By the look of the grin on his face she had a feeling he'd only asked to make her laugh, not really believing there was any truth to the question he'd asked.

"Here you go," her partner handed her the coffee he'd just made for her and when she accepted it she couldn't help but let her fingers touch his in the process.

She could hear his heart skip a beat, the same way hers did, and she bit the inside of her lip to try and hide her knowing.

"You know," she said after taking a sip of her coffee. "I have the weekend off, as long as there's no dead body dropping before five, and I'm really in the need of a run." Taking a pause she glanced around to make sure no one could hear their conversation. "Would you want to join me? At the cabin, I mean."

"I… _of course_!" he only just managed to control the level of his voice from shouting his excitement and she couldn't help but giggle at the way her whole being was tingling with anticipation.

"Okay," she whispered with a small smile setting her lips.

"What are you two talking about?" Esposito came into view and Beckett immediately took control over her emotions.

"Nothing," both partners said simultaneously and Espo rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, we got a case," he said and handed Beckett a note with the address on.

"Alright, let's go," she said with a sigh, hoping it's an easy one so they could get the weekend together.

* * *

"I can't believe you did that," Kate said while shaking her head, writing the last on her report.

"Did what?" Castle asked in a nonchalant tone and Kate chuckled.

"I can't believe you went up and sniffed the guy, I don't think you only creeped _him_ out but I think both Ryan and Espo are starting to wonder too." She finished the report and gathered all the papers into the file she'd give to her captain.

He shrugged his shoulders as he scratched his head in a dismissive sort of way. "Well, you said he smelled of her perfume, and he smelled like the killer who'd been at her apartment." She tried to stop smiling. "I wanted us to go away this weekend, and didn't look like we would be able to without a push in the right direction and even though I understand why _you_ don't want to tell your insight _I_ couldn't not act on it."

Kate bit her lip, trying her hardest to contain the smile before rising from her desk in order to go leave the file to her captain. Her partner raised as well but started putting on his jacket instead of following her. _Smart_ _choice_, especially considering the captain wasn't exactly a fan of him. Kate couldn't help but wonder how Gates reacted to the fact that Castle had sniffed the guy in order to arrest him. She put the file on the captain's desk, thankful the captain must've gone to the bathroom or something because that meant she could just leave without needing to talk to the woman.

"Ready to go?" Castle asked as she went back to him.

He held up her jacket for her and she felt herself smile at the gesture, saying thanks as she lets him assist her in putting it on.

"I'm ready." She looked around them to make sure she could speak without anyone paying attention to them. "Should I drop you off at your place so you can pack and then come pick you up once I'm done?"

"Hm, why don't I pick you up when I'm done? You've been driving almost all day, gotta be tiring," he suggested as they started walking towards the elevator.

She smiled, "Sure."

They spent both rides being silent, not because they couldn't come up with anything to talk about but simply because they both enjoyed the silence after a long day. Kate dropped him off at his building and he promised her he wouldn't be long, earning a big smile from her as she said they'd see each other soon. Driving to her apartment she started thinking about the decision that made her ask him to join her at the cabin. She tried figure out how to do it and started to think that perhaps it was better to just… see where everything led to. Maybe it would just come natural.

Once in her apartment she decided to switch out of her work attire and into something a bit more comfy, a pair of leggings and a baggy shirt. As she was starting to pack a bag with snacks along with a bottle of wine she heard the knock on the door and didn't hesitate to call out she was coming. She quickly zipped the bag and carried it to the door, already being able to pick out the heart beating on the other side. It made her belly twist with excitement and her lips pull up in a grin.

"That was quick," she commented as the door opened and revealed her partner on the other side.

He was almost panting and Kate wondered if he'd hurried more than he should've. She wouldn't complain though, even if he smelled a bit more from the extra running around he'd probably done at his loft she loved the scent filling her nostrils.

"Yeah, I-uh, didn't want to keep you waiting," he said and she smiled with her teeth parting.

"Uh-uh." She grinned as she picked up her bag again and they walked out of her apartment. "Let's go then."

They took the elevator down and Kate couldn't stop smiling, she just felt so happy. It was weird considering it had only been a couple months ago she'd been shot at and had been halfway forced to tell her partner about her secret.

"So, when you said you were in need for a run, did you mean…?"

"Yeah," she smiled at him as she walked out of the elevator and quickly set her feet towards his ferrari.

"This is going to be so cool!" Castle exclaimed and she had to stifle a laugh as she practically heard him make a joyous jump behind her.

"What makes you think I'll let you join me?" she questioned once they were both seated in the car.

"Because you like me," he teased and when she gave him her look he just smirked at her while waking up the roaring engine.

Rolling her eyes she bit her lip before thinking of what exactly she had in mind for him this weekend.

"Plus, I have seen your wolf before," he added and she humphed.

"Once, and technically you didn't know it was me," she argued with the smile still on her lips.

"Yes I did, your furr and your attitude gave it away. Did you know you actually _rolled your eyes_ at me?"

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did. And speaking of eyes those were another tell it was you." She glanced to him and saw his eyes flicker between her and the road, their eyes meeting a couple of times. "So, I knew. I didn't have proof but I knew."

"Then why didn't you confront me the first thing you did when I walked through the door?" she questioned with a smug expression on her face.

His smirk turned down a bit and so did hers when she remembered what he'd come to discuss that day. "_That_, plus I wanted some time to actually prepare myself. I wondered why you wouldn't tell me, especially since you know how exciting I would find it."

Kate bit the inside of her cheeks, knowing exactly why she never told him. "It was nothing personal Castle, I haven't told anyone."

He hummed, "Only human knowing before me was your mother right?" She nodded, observing him as he continued to flicker his eyes between her and the road. "Why have you never told anyone else? I mean, as a kid you must've been tempted, weren't you?"

"Of course I was tempted," she told him, thinking back to her childhood. "I had a friend when I was six who I was close to telling, my mom and dad stopped me just in time."

"Really? What happened?" The curiosity of this man never failed to surprise her. _Of course_ he would want to know about her childhood.

She chuckled, shook her head as she leant her head into her hand, looking out the window. "Okay, so the reason we became friends in the first place was because I made a couple boys stop bullying her. Even though they were older I was stronger. Anyway, I was almost always myself around her, climbed trees the way I could with ease, ran faster with ease, didn't pretend to get tired the way kids my age did. After a while she wanted to pretend I was supernatural, a hero like Supergirl, and she was my sidekick."

She got lost in her thoughts, remembering the events in the perspective of an adult and knowing her mom and dad made the right decision.

"Then what happened?" His question brought her back to the now and she turned to look at him again.

"I was ready to turn in front of her, to tell her and then turn, but my parents got on to it just before I managed to utter the words. They came up with some lame excuse about why Rachel had to go home, and then they lectured me. Threatened that if I ever told anyone, didn't matter if it was a friend my own age or a grownup, we would move."

The look he gave her expressed the confusion and judgement. "That seems a bit harsh."

She shook her head. "No, it was for the best. Last time someone got whim of werewolves being real and they didn't have a solid relationship with one it turned into mass hysteria."

"But you were just a kid, and who would've believed a kid?" Castle defended her younger self.

Kate shrugged her shoulders. "That last time it began with a kid too, and a parent being superstitious."

"Oh."

**_To be continued..._**

* * *

_**A/N:** So sorry for the long wait, I don't really have any good excuses but I want to let you know I promise I won't just up and leave this story. I will finish it, I just can't promise how long it'll take... I wish I hadn't posted it before I was already finished with it because you have no idea the amount of guilt I feel not being able to post frequently. Anyway, hope you all are good out there, stay safe! Until next time... xxxx_


	11. Chapter 11

"So, what do you want to do?" Castle asked as they stand in the cabin, everything packed out from the car.

"I'm going to run, it was a while ago and the car ride is pretty long," Kate replied and could see his shoulders slump a bit.

"Oh, well, guess I could see if I could make us some dinner while you're gone then, how long does your run usually take?" he asked and she couldn't stop the gigantic grin from blooming on her face. Which of course had his forehead wrinkling and his head tilting in question. "What?"

She ran a hand through her hair, bit her lower lip before grabbing his hand to start pulling him with her outside.

"I think you should follow with," she told him and sensed his excitement as well as the joy filling his scent.

"You're going to let me follow you?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with everything she'd been denying for so long and she couldn't help feel the butterflies in her belly.

"Mhmm," she hummed and turned around to lead him towards the trees, figuring the best place to turn would be beside the trees and not in the open behind the cabin.

He didn't hesitate to follow her and this time he kept quiet, if she knew him right it was because he was observing her and just waiting for whatever came next. Once they were behind the protectiveness of the trees she let go of his hand and told him to stay put with her hand gently touching his chest to be more clear of exactly where he should stay put. She could see the interest in his eyes but also the determination to comply to her wish to stand still. She backed away and disappeared behind some bushes, not feeling like explaining why she's suddenly stripping out of her clothes. Standing in only a bra and panties she felt herself shiver but it wasn't from the cold, she was almost never cold thanks to her warm blood. She was both nervous and excited, she was about to show her other half for her partner, _her soulmate_. Sure, he'd seen her before, once, but it wasn't the same. Last time it hadn't been intentional, it hadn't been _her_ deciding it.

She took a deep breath, took off the last of her clothing and let her bones start changing.

"Beckett, you okay? Kate?" he asked as her bones started crackling and she realized she kind of forgot to tell him the noise the bones make when they start to rearrange.

She couldn't really answer him but continued to concentrate on her change, the faster she could change and show herself the better.

When Castle heard the crackling noises he didn't know if he was supposed to go after her or not. _What if she got hurt?_ But then she had told him to stay put, and also he had read some myths that the bones had to literally change in the human's body for it to become a werewolf. He tried imaging what that would feel like and grimaced as he imagined the pain it would cause. The breaking must be what he's hearing from her on the other side of the bushes. In case it wasn't he checked his watch, deciding to give her five minutes before he's checking up on her. It didn't go that long, only took about another minute before that chestnut-furred wolf he'd seen once before appears from the same bushes that he saw her disappear behind in her human form.

"Kate?" he said with a smile forming on his lips. The wolf nodded as it carefully, _she carefully_, moved towards him. He could see the hesitance in her eyes, the way she tried tip toeing made him realize she was halfway expecting him to run away from her, scared. _Never_. "Can I…" he started asking the one question he wanted to ask most, but stopped himself when it hit him what they were doing out there. "We're here to run right? Lead the way, Kate."

It looked like she was trying to raise an eyebrow, probably being able to hear the change in his question and he slightly wondered if his heart was beating differently too. He'd asked her about her senses and after a couple weeks she'd revealed that she could actually hear people's hearts, which also helped during interrogation. _So damn cool_. But also quite frightening to know because he couldn't count how many times his heart had started beating faster at the sight of her and knowing she could hear him only made that more embarrassing.

Kate-wolf yelped as if to tell him to follow her and turned around, she looked over her shoulders and he walked up to her with a nod. Then she took off running, and he followed.

* * *

Castle could tell she was holding back her speed to let him be able to follow. He could also tell she stopped long before she was tired to not burn him out. She could probably tell by the way he was panting hard and feeling like his lungs were going to explode that he needed to stop. Once she stopped she looked back at him and yelped again, which somehow he translated to "sit down". And so he did. He plumped down on the ground and tried to catch onto his breath, all while watching as she did the same, in her wolf form. She watched him with those hazel eyes and it calmed him knowing it was the same hazel eyes he fell in love with at the precinct long before he knew the secret.

When Castle's breathing were back to normal he couldn't stop but thinking about what he'd been about to ask earlier. His fingers were itching and even though a part of him told him it was too early to ask for he couldn't stop the words from leaving his mouth.

"Kate?" There's something similar to a hum rumbling in her throat. "Can I… can I touch your fur?" He winced at his own words, they sounded so… weird.

At first she laid her head to the side, as if she was thinking about what he'd said and Castle didn't dare looking at her but looked around in the woods instead. When there's movement he looks up to see the wolf slowly coming towards him, still that careful look in her eyes. She's so big as a wolf it made him wonder how much bigger than a normal wolf she was, and if it had something to do with her own height just like the color or her fur depended on the color of her hair. Just a few feet before she reached him she laid down and crawled towards him until she stopped right in front of his legs.

Kate looked up at him, the writer, _her partner_, and waited for his next move. His eyes showed hesitance and she tried her best to show reassurance, that she _wanted_ him to touch her. She was a bit scared too, she's never let anyone touch her fur. Well, besides her mom but that had been when she was a kid. His hand stretched out towards her and once his fingers reached her head she closed her eyes at the touch.

His hand was careful, hesitant, for a few more seconds before he found confidence to pet her fully. Kate couldn't stop a rustling sound coming out of her throat even if she wanted to, his touch was hypnotizing and she wondered if this was what they meant when they said a soulmate's touch could calm the beast inside no matter how upset the wolf might be. Her mom had told her all those stories, had told her all about soulmates, at least everything _she_ knew. When Kate had been about seven years old she'd asked her mom if she and dad were soulmates, her mom had laughed happily and gotten this look Kate hadn't understood at the time, saying that _yes_, they were soulmates. Now when Kate looked back at the memory she'd understood the look her mom had gotten was the one of someone fully in love, _someone who'd found their soulmate_.

"I know you can't speak back to me while you're in wolf form but… thank you, for inviting me here. You have no idea how much it means to me to be here, to get the privilege to see the whole of you," Castle interrupted her thoughts and she smiled as best as she could as a wolf.

She couldn't think of anything better but opened her eyes and lifted her head, when his hand fell off her she put her nose to it to keep him close. He let his hand cup the side of her head and she didn't stop the lick to his wrist. Their eyes met, and she wasn't sure what he saw in hers but what she saw was definitely that same look her mom had had every time she'd looked at her dad. For a few minutes they just stare into each other's eyes, the longer she drowned in his blues the more sure she became of her next decision.

Kate made a low howling noise before slightly pulling away, standing up on her paws in order to back away a bit. Locking eyes with him again she put her head slightly to the side to make sure she had his attention.

"What?" he asked and she closed her eyes before concentrating on her body.

She can hear his gasp but doesn't stop the transformation she started, her bones crackling as they turn her back into her human form. It didn't take many minutes before she raised up, straightened her back, standing in front of him on her two legs. _Naked_.

"Wow," Castle gasped and when Kate opened her eyes to look at him she saw him clenching his eyes shut.

She didn't stop the chuckle from leaving her lips, he looked cute. _Adorable_, in fact, that he tried to protect her privacy by doing his best to keep his eyes closed. She could see it twitched in them though, probably having an internal battle about keeping her privacy and peaking to satisfy his own curiosity.

"It's okay Rick, I wouldn't have changed in front of you if I wasn't comfortable with you seeing me," she said before biting her lip as she observed him, his body relaxing inch by inch before his clenched eyes started to relax and opening.

She felt a bit self-conscious but tried not to show it, tried not to cover herself. _This was, after all, what she'd planned after inviting him to join her_. He stood up and she felt her heart start racing as her lip started to bleed from the biting she couldn't stop.

"You're beautiful, both wolf and human," he whispered and she felt her cheeks burn.

He carefully started moving closer to her and she stood her ground, not letting herself run away this time. She wasn't aware she was holding her breath until he's gently cupping her cheek with his hand and she's letting go of a long exhale. She felt electricity moving through her veins as she locked eyes with him. His deep blues flickered between her two hazels and she just managed to wonder what he was thinking about before he was leaning down. Her heart made a quick jump right before his lips touched hers and she didn't stop herself from stepping onto her toes to connect their lips further in the kiss she would lie to herself if she didn't say she'd waited a long time for. The hand on her cheek turned more confident with her answer to his kiss and he held her stronger when he started to kiss her more fiercely. Without thinking about it she pushed her body closer to his, only to slightly gasp against his mouth when she remembered she was still naked and could feel the material of his shirt rub against her breasts. He pulled away a bit, not letting her go but just parting their lips, and took a through breaths of his own before voicing his reason for pulling away.

"Are you cold?"

She shook her head with her forehead wrinkled in question. "No, I don't really get cold, why?"

"You shivered, I thought it was from cold," he said and she looked up at him only to look away again with a blush on her cheeks and a bite to her lip as a smile started to break free.

"No," she said with another bite. "I'm naked and getting kissed by my partner, I don't think cold would be the reason behind any kind of shivers right now," she confessed and saw the raw arousal enter his blue eyes. The blue turning a darker blue by the seconds passing. "Are you cold?" she challenged and let her eyes wander his body, suggesting something that made her heart pound against her chest and she could _hear_ his was as well.

"Definitely not cold," his voice was darker and Kate couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her lips before they both lean closer to claim each other's lips with their own.

**To be continued...**

* * *

_**A/N: **__Hi everyone! Hope you all are doing as good as you can in these hard times. Both due to the pandemic but also due to what's going on in America. Stay safe, but don't stay silent. I really hope everything will change, that people will listen to these protests. I'm sorry there is need for protests, I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I'm sorry some people are stupid and can't see common sense, see through the color of your skin and treat you as a human being. I'm even sorry if I'm in this text is saying something wrong because honestly I'm not sure what to say. Anyway, I'm sorry. Black Lives Matter.  
Until next time, xxxx_


	12. Chapter 12

They ended up making love in the woods, both climbing highs with newfound light. Kate's never had sex in the woods before and from their small sleepy talk after she knew he hadn't either which made this both of their first time. Castle had revealed he'd thought she had and when she'd given him a look asking him why he'd explained that since she's part wolf he'd just halfway expected it. She'd huffed and reminded him that he was the first one outside her blood who knew about her secret and that she'd never gone out camping with friends due to that fact. She hadn't wanted her friends to suddenly find out by her accidentally shifting in her sleep. He'd asked her about that, _did she really shift in her sleep?_ It had happened. But only when she slept in the woods, never when she slept in a bed. That had gotten his brain going, asking questions like: _what could that mean? Did it mean she was more animal in the woods than human? Did she feel animalistic right that moment? _She'd sleepily done her best to answer every question until she got tired of it and slowly had started a round two just to steer his thoughts to a place she wanted to meet them in. When they were once again calming down she couldn't stop trickling her fingers around his naked chest. The only thing that kept her from dozing off was the fact that she didn't want to turn so close to him, also she liked snuggling with him too much.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked and she looked up to meet his eyes.

She chuckled when she saw all that excitement in his eyes along with the constant curiosity. "Not really thinking about anything in particular, just enjoying the moment," she said and he hummed while his fingers caressed her naked back, giving her goosebumps.

She yawned, feeling the tiredness from the run and, _other_, activities taking over her body. It wasn't a good idea for her to sleep out there though, and she tried to keep her eyes open.

"We should probably head back to the cabin, you're tired and so am I," he said before laying his lips on top of her head in a gentle kiss.

She hummed and it took about another five seconds before they raised from the ground and while he grabbed his boxers she picked up his shirt to hand it to him. He looked at her and then it was like something hit him because his eyes went from her to him and then all around them as if he was looking at something.

"What?" she asked and held out his shirt for him.

"You don't have any clothes." He stated it with such surprise she couldn't not laugh.

"I don't need any," she shrugged with a big smile on her lips, trying to reassure him as best she can.

"Yeah but… here," he hands her his boxers and she gives him a questioning look. "I know you don't need them to stay warm but please, it looks uncomfortable." He gave her a pleading look and she bit her lip.

"You just want me to wear your clothes," she teased and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Didn't have it in mind but yeah, I'd love to see that too," he glanced her body up and down with his eyes and she could imagine how flushed her body must've looked.

She accepted his boxers and once again held out his shirt to him but he just shook his head with a smirk dancing on his lips and she grinned with her tongue between her teeth. Without having to say anything more she starts pulling on his boxers and putting on his shirt as he is satisfied with only putting on his pants and shoes. Once they're both dressed, or half-dressed that is, their hands clasped together and Kate started to lead him on a different route than the one that took them there. At first Castle asked where they were going but Kate simply told him they were actually closer to the cabin than he might've thought, that she'd made their route to end just about the length of a block away from the cabin.

Slipping inside the cabin Kate heard her partner shudder behind her and realized that he must be cold. No matter how hard he tried to hide it she could hear the way his heart tried to pump warmth through his veins to keep him warm. Sure, he might not have been cold a couple minutes ago but now his body had managed to lower its temperature.

"You stay here and I'll just go get some wood for us to make a fire," she told him and was out the door before he could protest.

Castle didn't even manage to turn around until she was gone and while he pouted for missing it he was amazed by her speed. He wondered if the speed was something he'd seen before but just not noticed. It was the speed by the funeral that had caught his eyes, but he couldn't remember ever thinking about it any earlier. It was weird considering how closely he'd been watching her this whole time. Which most likely meant she knew how closely he'd been watching her and never told him she knew. She'd probably been able to _sense_ his staring. All those times he thought he was secretly observing her she probably knew and tried not to show her irritation. As he stood and thought about all those things he did that she must've known about he felt his cheeks go warm with the blush.

"What are you thinking about?" Her voice startled him and he jerked around to find her coming in through the door again with some wood she was carefully setting in place in order for them to make a cozy fire.

He swallowed but figured it wasn't like he could make it undone. "I just started thinking about all those times you must've noticed me looking at you but didn't show you knew."

She chuckles with irritation embedded in the sound. "Yeah, you have no idea how many times I was close to snapping at you." Castle couldn't stop looking at her, observing her. He watched as she placed the last piece of wood before lighting up the fire immediately illuminating her beauty. _God _she's so beautiful. And she's still wearing his shirt and it kind of made him want her more. Made him love her more. "You're staring," she said with a bite to her lower lip, her arms sliding across her body to hold herself.

He smiled, taking a few slow steps closer to be able to put his hands on her waist, pulling her body closer to his, hypnotized by the illumination dancing on her. "You're beautiful," he whispered. "And now I'm finally allowed to say it out loud."

Kate felt her heart pick up along with his, their noses being so close they almost touched. Hearing their hearts synchronize made her body melt in his hands. She bit her lip again, glancing down before looking into his blue eyes again.

"What?" he asked and she let go of a giggle, shaking her head.

"Nothing, it's just… here," she uncrossed her arms in order to grab one of his hands in order to place it over her heart. "I'm not sure if you can feel it but…"

"Your heartbeat and mine are beating in sync," he ended her sentence and she nodded. "You can hear it?" he questioned with excitement in his eyes.

"Yeah." Once the word was out his lips kissed hers in a soothing and electrifying way. It was the kind of kiss that could make you do anything just to feel it again. It was definitely addicting and when they pulled apart again she felt as if she was in a haze.

"If you turn me will I be able to hear it too?" he questioned and she felt her eyes pop open as she started shaking her head.

"I'm not turning you," she growled low.

"Why not?" He tried acting sad and upset about it but she had a feeling he was too excited about it in order to be anything close to upset.

"For a good reason," she humphed trying to turn in his grip without succeeding. _Of course she could've if she truly wanted out of his embrace._

"Like what?" he asked, pulling her closer again, watching as the light danced across her face while waiting for her answer.

He was catching her off-guard and she didn't like it. He looked so serious and felt so good against her. Just imagining him being the same as her was exciting, _thrilling_. Running in the woods with him, _play tag _with him. All the things she wanted to do when she was a kid and didn't get to do because she didn't know anyone like her. She couldn't stop the images running through her mind, having a wolf run beside her, what if they would play-fight as well?

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" he startled her with his accurate conjecture.

"No," she snapped, too quick for him to actually believe it. _Hell_, she wouldn't have believed it herself.

"Listen," he said with a calmer voice. "Didn't you say your dad blamed himself for not turning your mom? What if…"

"No!" she said sternly, her finger pointing at him in the air. "Don't use that. Don't you _ever_ use that! Because if that's your reason I will make sure you won't shadow me anymore."

He scoffed and gave her a look. "Are you crazy, the only reason I want to turn is to be closer to you." It took a beat, or a few heartbeats, and then he added, "The fact that I'd get to be a superhuman is just a plus," and shrugged his shoulders.

She smacked his shoulder at that and he chuckled as he ducked down and kissed her lips slow like that again. Making her melt again. This time he didn't let go of her for quite a while and her knees were almost giving out, the only thing keeping her up being his arms still wrapped around her.

Once they parted she snuggled closer to him, into the crook of his neck, and just enjoyed his embrace. "I don't want to turn you because just like dad was afraid mom's body would reject the change I'm afraid your body will reject it. Plus I don't want you to have to decide between me or Alexis. I want you to stay human and not have to watch your every move. I want you to live a normal life," she looked up at him, seeing his sceptical eyebrow. "Well, as normal as you _can _be."

"Touché," he chuckled and then those blues turned questioning. "Why would it be a choice between you and Alexis?"

She looked down again, trying to stop overthinking everything. "You can't tell her anything, and the relationship the two of you have is too important. You can't lie to her about what you are, that's not fair."

"How would that be different than what I'm doing now?" His thumbs started stroking her sides, probably soothing himself as much as it was soothing her.

"Because now it's not _you_ who's different, it's _me_. And if she would ever find out it would be _my_ fault, not yours." Kate took in a breath. "Which means it'll be _me_ she's mad at, not you."

He sighed and this time it was her observing him, watching every single thought run through his mind, listening to his heart beat in steady rhythms.

"You have a point," he started and she let go of a relieved sigh. "But," he snuck in there and she felt her heart skip a beat, "that's my decision, isn't it? And who knows, what if we tell her? Maybe she wants to be turned too."

His statement had her shaking her head. "No, no no no no, not going to happen."

"Why not?"

"Because it's… it's not all fun and games. You have to lie to everyone you ever meet and make sure no one suspects a thing," she told him. "Also there might be something else."

She turned around and pulled her arms around herself in a hugging manner, creating a bit distance between them only to feel his arms sneak around her and pull her back. Before she knew it she was leaning back onto his chest, his jaw landing on her shoulder with his lips nudging her earnub. "Like what?"

* * *

_**A/N:**_ _Hi everyone! So sorry for the long wait, but I'm trying my best to continue the story in my mind before actually writing it down, plus I've got work, that's why it's taking so long... anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and again, so sorry for the wait. Until next time, xxxx_


	13. Chapter 13

Kate took a deep breath, and let out her fears.

"That sniper in the cemetery? I have a feeling he knows what I am now, heard hunters are on their way here to test me and everyone I'm close to." She felt his arms tighten around her and she bit her lip. "I don't want them anywhere close to you, but if they do I don't want them to have any suspicions about _you_ being a wolf."

He was quiet for a few minutes before opening his mouth. "Wouldn't it be better if I was a wolf instead? Wouldn't we be stronger in numbers?"

"No, it's not really safe that first time as a new wolf, there's no real control. And having hunters after you aren't exactly the best first time either," she told him and he let go of an 'ah'.

"How do you know about the hunters?" he asked and she smirked as she turned around.

"We managed to infiltrate them not that long ago with a human being close friends with one of my dad's childhood friends. He's been keeping tabs on them without actually being in on the hunting;" she explained.

"That's so cool!"

Kate turned around in his arms again. "You told me I couldn't look into my shooting, but…" she thought about it but then suggested the deal she just came up with. "If we find out who's behind it all and stop the hunters, I promise to change you."

She could see the excitement and fear build in his eyes and she wondered if the deal was a good idea at the same time as she felt like it was time to start investigating again.

"Deal," he said and leant down to kiss her lips again. "So, where do we start?"

She thought about it for a few minutes before remembering what had stopped her in the first place. "The one calling you, he said he was a friend of Montgomery's right? Why don't we start there?"

"How?"

Kate shook her head, her fingers dancing down his shoulders to his naked chest. "Let's figure out all that tomorrow."

Castle felt surprised but could feel his heart pick up speed again, the fire was still illuminating her beauty and when she smiled that teeth-wide-tongue-biting smile he knew he was a goner.

"That's a plan," he agreed with her and let his fingers start unbuttoning her shirt. Well, _his_ shirt but on her. He bent down to claim her lips with his again and it ignited the fire in both of them. Once the buttons were undone he's not hesitating to cup her breasts and start massaging them, it thrilled him how she was gasping in his mouth and made it his mission to keep her gasping and moaning for the rest of the night.

* * *

It took them quite a while to locate the name of Montgomery's friend, Smith. But once they did they managed to track him down and meet with him in a dark parking garage one evening.

"Detective Kate Beckett and Richard Castle, to what do I bring this pleasure?" mr Smith asked and they were both surprised when he so clearly stated their names without even trying to not know who they were.

"Mr Smith, I believe you made a call to Castle a couple months ago. You said Montgomery sent a package and we would like to see that package," Kate said with as strong of a voice as she could muster. _This was their only lead. _

"Not possible."

"Why not?" Castle questioned before she managed to get angry.

"Because it's in a safe place, and the deal was for you to back off, detective. And for you, mr Castle, to keep her in place."

Kate quietly growled beside him and he slowly let his hand land on the low of her back to keep her calm. _Why did that work? _

"Tell us where and we'll go get it," Castle demanded.

"If I do that then there will be nothing stopping them from killing the both of you, perhaps they might even go after the ones around you to make sure you haven't told anyone. This is the one thing I owe Roy to do, don't disappoint him."

Kate felt herself losing grip and she walked up to the man, getting close enough to smell the sudden fear coming out of his body. She might've been a tad faster than a human should be.

"Don't you dare, we're trying to catch a killer, the same one who killed Montgomery. If anything _you're_ the one keeping them safe, _you're the one stopping us from getting justice_," she growled and she could tell he was starting to glance around to find a way out of there. _Not on her watch. _

"Just give us what we want," Castle came to her side, his hand once again landing against her back and she couldn't help but wonder if he was afraid she was going to do something she'd regret later. _She's not that out of control_. But this is part of what she'd been talking about when she'd said there's a period of time when you have to learn to control yourself. _At least she'd been born with it and therefore been learning her whole life._

Smith was quiet for a couple minutes, his eyes glancing between the writer and the detective, probably trying to figure out what his chances were whatever he did. Kate didn't stop staring at him with that look that had scared everyone, _apart from Castle which still made her wonder why. _

With a sigh Smith finally looked down in defeat. "Fine," he said before he looked around them in order to make sure they were alone. "Come with me."

* * *

Coming into Smith's apartment all hell broke loose. There was a guy there with a gun waiting for him. Kate felt the hair on her back rise just as Smith was captured in a choking hold and dragged towards a chair. She quickly pushed Castle back before she jumped at the guy holding Smith. Once she came closer she was hit with the same scent she'd come across at the cemetery those months ago.

She lost her grip at the surprise and found herself on the ground pretty quickly. She jumped up again and started fighting with the guy, who, for a human, was fast and strong. That's when she realized something she hadn't been able to smell at the cemetery. _He wasn't human_. Kate growled at that and let her fists fly and block his fists. She managed to knock him down only to fall down herself on the leg he kicked under her feet. Before she could get up again he was over her, taking a choking hold on her with his hands around her neck. She tried pushing him off of her, but since they were the same it wasn't as easy as she'd been hoping. Punching him in the chest didn't work and so she used her legs to get them between them in order to kick him off of her. She started coughing and had to catch her breath before she could look up, what she saw made her veins freeze and she let go of a scream.

She pushed herself off the floor and stumbled towards her partner, who was lying on the floor next to a dead-looking Smith. What made her terrified wasn't the man who had the files that could solve all her problems, but the bite that was as clear as day on her partner's neck. She looked around to find the other wolf was gone. She tried focusing her hearing and found no one close beside for the neighbors seeming to walk around anxiously. That's when she also heard the sirens not far away. She turned to her partner and carefully started patting his cheek.

"Castle? Ri-ick, wake up," her voice betrayed her, cracking to show how unstable she was. "Come on, Rick. We n-need to go."

She inspected the bite and traced the lines with her fingers as light as possible. _Damnit. They needed to get out of there_. The only thing that kept her from breaking apart right that moment was the fact that she could still hear his heartbeat and his breathing being steady. She heard the sirens getting closer and mumbled a row of profanities. Quickly and carefully she bent down and let her tongue lick his wound, that way it wouldn't bleed anymore. Then she locked one arm under his torso and the other under his legs, thanking whoever was listening that she was stronger than she'd be if she was only human, and stood up with him in her arms. There was no way they'd be able to make it out undetected through the front door and so she quickly located the fire escape. She knew she couldn't walk around carrying him like this but at least the escape led to an empty alley and there she'd have a few more minutes to think of what to do.

She hid them behind a dumpster, putting him in her lap with his head against her chest, and tried to wake him up once again. It was pointless, once the bite took and he was knocked out it would take _hours_ before he woke up again. _And once he woke up he would start to feel the change_. She took out her phone, feeling her tears run down her cheeks. _What if he wouldn't make it?_

"Dad?" she cried into the phone when the old man answered. "He was bitten b-but not by m-me. Police will be here any minute, they can't see us. They can't see _him_."

"Where are you? I'm on my way," her dad answered and she could hear him pick up the keys and exit the house.

They ended the call and she hugged the writer closer to her. "Please, please make it. Please," she whispered into his ear, kissing his head every now and then.

* * *

"Here," Jim held out a mug that smelled of coffee and she shook her head. "It's decaf."

She accepted the cup and took a sip, her eyes never leaving her partner still unconscious on the couch in her father's house.

"He's going to make it, Katie," her father tried reassuring her and she bit her lip, trying to keep it from shivering.

"You don't know that," she whispered. "You know there's a higher risk of not surviving when it isn't a soulmate's bite."

She heard her father swallow hard and felt her heart skip a beat. An hour had gone since he was bitten and she hadn't left his side other than when her father forced her to look after her wounds, and even then she'd not let him be alone but had told her father to sit with him.

"So, this other wolf," Jim started, probably trying to get her to think about something other than her soulmate fighting for his life beside her. "Did you get a good look at him? A good smell?"

Kate was grateful for her father and tried to remember as best as she could. "He was a bit taller than me, dark brown hair, blue eyes. He looked military."

They kept on talking, Jim tried calling some of his wolf-friends in order to snoop around, also told them hunters were on their way and that the person he was looking for had gone after his daughter and was most likely the one to tell the hunters where to find them. This made the wolf a traitor and now it would make it almost impossible for him to hide. Jim also made sure they would call if they found him.

"There's not much more we can do now other than wait," her father told her after all the calls he made.

"Mhmm," she hummed, observing her partner lying still beside her.

"You know, the way you're looking at him right now reminds me of the look your mom always had when she looked at me," Jim said and Kate looked at her father.

"What do you mean?" she asked, not sure why he was bringing it up.

He smiled at her. "It just reminds me of how real love looks like. You know, soulmates and all that. Sometimes I forget what it felt like, when your mom was taken from us I didn't think I'd ever see it again. And honestly a part of me hoped you wouldn't have to go through it since losing your mother was the worst that ever happened to me, I almost wished I'd never met her. But now, seeing how much happier you've been since you met him I'm glad you're able to feel as alive as you have. And when he gets through the change it'll all be on a much deeper level because he'll feel the exact same way."

"If he gets through it," she mumbles with a lump in her throat.

"Not if, _when_," he said with certainty and she so wished she could have the kind of faith he did. "A soulmate's bite might be better but the fact that he _has_ a soulmate already on this side is brightening his chances of making it. If you _hadn't_ been his soulmate on the other hand, I would've worried."

She nodded, somehow his words were calming. It wasn't enough to calm her _completely_ but enough to keep her hope up. Maybe it hadn't been her bite, but at least they were connected and hopefully that would be all it took for him to make it.

Kate froze at the sudden sound of his heartbeat speeding up, her eyes reached the writer beside her and she saw his closed eyes move as he was most likely fighting to wake up. She didn't dare breathe, and could tell by the lack of other sound than the writer that her father was holding his breath as well.


	14. Chapter 14

Castle fought to open his eyes, but somehow it was a lot harder than it normally was. He could also feel a terrible ache in the right side of his neck and _did he pass out from a punch to his neck?_ What the hell had happened? They'd found Smith, _right?_ What next? They'd… had they followed the man to his apartment? _Oh, they had_. And that guy had been waiting, but most likely only for Smith because he'd looked surprised when Kate attacked him. Then they'd moved dangerously fast. _He must've been a werewolf too!_ That's why they had gotten all blurry as they fought, at least until the guy was holding down his partner and tried choking her. Castle had tried getting involved then, had tried kicking the guy and at just that moment Kate had done the same, resulting in the guy tumbling off. But before Castle had been able to get to his partner he'd been forced back and felt pain in his neck.

"Castle?" her voice trenched through what felt like blockage in his ears. "RICK?"

His hands quickly covered his ears as her voice was so loud and his eyes snapped open.

"Sorry," she whispered and he was surprised to still hear it even though his hands were over his ears.

He slowly let his hands fall to his side and looked at her with question in his eyes. "What happened?" He glanced around. "Where are we?"

He's suddenly aware of the tears in her eyes and the smile growing bigger on her lips. It had him wondering how long he'd been out because she's letting go of a silent chuckle of joy before she was leaning down to peck his lips in a sweet kiss. Only it didn't _feel_ like it normally did, _it was scorching hot_, and his hand quickly found the back of her neck to tangle his fingers into her hair as he pulled her back to claim her lips with his again. _Mmm, god, it felt like heaven_, and when he parted his lips to ask permission to enter her mouth and she parted her own her _taste _was_ addicting_. She moaned into his mouth and he couldn't stop the groan from agreeing with her.

"Ahem."

The sound tore them apart and when Castle looked around he was suddenly well aware of the man sitting in a chair not far away observing them. It took him another second for him to realize some of the lines in the man's face was close to identical to Kate's. _It's her father_.

"Sorry," Kate mumbled her apology to the grey-haired man before turning back to him. "Castle, this is my dad, Jim Beckett."

Castle cleared his throat and swallowed, damning the fact that he knew her father was able to hear the accelerating beating of his heart.

"Hi, sir," he said and the man bursted out in a chuckle.

"No need to be scared Richard," the man said. "I would never come between two soulmates if it weren't absolutely necessary."

"Dad!" Kate hissed and Castle felt confused. _Two soulmates?_ She turned back to him with a glimpse of worry in those hazel eyes. "How do you feel?" she asked.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Well, my neck hurts from the punch but other than that I feel fine, maybe I was kicked in my head though because I could almost swear my hearing is better than before," he told her while letting his hand rub his head.

He observed as she bit her lower lip in what looked like a nervous movement, and heard a thumping sound which he couldn't really locate. It sounded as if it came from her, but that didn't make sense. Why would a thumping sound come out of her? Or perhaps it was something behind her.

"Rick," she exhaled slowly before taking in a deep breath. "That guy at Smith's, he was a wolf…" she paused until he nodded. "...and he uh… he bit you."

Castle furrowed his brows again for a few seconds and then his facial expression turned neutral, shock entering his veins. _The thumping was her heartbeat. He could hear her heartbeat!_

"Does that mean…? I'm a wolf?!" he screeched and watched as her eyes turned down to look at her hands.

"Well, not yet, but yes, you're changing," she said and looked up, again with watery eyes. "I'm sorry, I should've stopped him. This wasn't how you were supposed to turn. We were supposed to be prepared, _you _were supposed to be ready."

Faster than he was prepared for he'd sat up and pulled her onto his lap, into his arms, and was hugging her in a comforting embrace. Kissing her forehead. Feeling her in his lap was weirdly electrifying. It felt as though everything was heightened, _especially_ her. Everything about her was heightened. It felt as if he loved her more than was possible. She was more beautiful than ever, her scent was heavenly and her touch was more addicting than before. His love for her was deeper than anything else. The only thing that could compare was the love he had for Alexis, but even that wasn't the same. He loved them both in different ways. Alexis was his kid, but Kate… _oh, Kate was his soulmate_. He could _feel_ it.

"At least I have you, when I saw him choking you I thought I'd lose you," he whispered against her temple.

The signal of a phone made the two of them look up again only to see Jim disappear with his phone close to his ear.

"Can I ask you a question?" Castle asked and she huffed.

"When do you ever ask permission?"

"Touché," he chuckled and then decided it was best not to seek her eyes in case she would feel attacked if he looked into her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me we were soulmates?"

He might not be looking in her eyes but he didn't miss the reddening of her cheeks in the sudden blush and he could see realization hit her as she understood he could feel it too. He could smell the small embarrassment in her scent, could smell the sudden rush of excitement coming off her body. _Was it turning her on knowing that he knew?_ This was a nice surprise, being able to smell when she was turned on would definitely be helpful. But… that also meant she'd been able to smell it on him too. _Oh, god_.

"Because I… I didn't want it to be true," she told him truthfully and he was surprised by her honesty. "I didn't want us to end up like my mom and dad."

"Ah," he understood what she meant. She didn't want to get hurt. And he definitely didn't blame her for it. _He was just glad he knew now_.

"They found him Katie," Jim came back and the two of them turned their eyes to the older man. "They managed to capture him and he won't be going anywhere until you've spoken to him."

Kate took a deep breath and nodded. "We should probably head to mr Smith's apartment again, see if we can find the files and get closure to all this."

They rise from the couch and thank Jim for letting them stay there for the few hours it took for Castle to recover. Jim was telling them to call him if they needed help, and to be safe, before waving them off from the front door.

* * *

"Castle!" Kate hissed when he once again moved too fast. "You need to slow down your movements."

"I'm trying!" he groaned. "It's not as easy as you make it look."

Kate just chuckled, this was one of the things she'd have liked to be able to prepare him for before turning him. She couldn't help but laugh at the way he was totally overdoing it though. It looked so weird when he tried to move slow, she had to keep herself from bursting out in laughter several times during those first two hours of him being out of harm's way. Now she knew he wouldn't reject the change.

"How do you make it look natural? I feel so stupid," he said and she chuckled again.

"Well, you look stupid too," she teased him and grabbed his arm to hook their arms together, automatically forcing him to walk in her speed. "I've been training my whole life, just try to follow my lead, okay? And while we're in there just count seconds in your mind to keep it from moving your body too fast."

"Just count in my mind?" he gave her a confused look.

"Yeah, it's what always helps me when I'm chasing bad guys," she told him and he nodded with understanding.

They stopped right outside the building and Kate stood on the tips of her toes to peck his lips in one quick reassuring kiss.

"Let's go," she said and they walked inside.

After they'd left mr Smith's apartment police had come and started to investigate the murder. So when they arrived at the scene their friends were already gone and Lanie most likely had mr Smith on her table back at the lab. Which meant that, besides from the officer standing outside keeping watch, Kate and Castle were the only ones there, and once they closed the front door they were all alone. Which probably was a good thing considering she had to remind Castle every now and then to slow down as they went through all the cabinets they could find.

"Castle," she simply mentioned his name and he groaned.

"I know, I moved too fast again."

She looked at him and met his eyes. "No, not that. Yes, but not that. Look at this," she held up a piece of paper. "It says here he has a property downtown but if I remember correctly the building standing there is abandoned."

Castle came to her side and looked at the paper. "Maybe that's where he's hidden the files, because I can't find anything here."

"Me neither, let's check it out," Kate agreed and they were just about to get out of there when two very familiar men came through the door.

"Where the hell have you two been?!" Ryan shouted in both anger and fear while Esposito crossed his arms over his chest.

"Uh," Kate froze. She hadn't expected to bump in to them so soon.

"I didn't feel so good and so Kate took me to the doctors," her partner quickly lied and she looked at him to see him looking completely honest. If she'd been human.

She noticed the hair rising on the back of his neck as well as his heart rate picking up.

"You okay bro?" Esposito asked then, uncrossing his arms again and Kate saw Castle had to refrain from looking surprised the detective fell for his lie.

"Uh-well, yeah, turned out I was mostly dehydrated and needing to lie down," he told them.

"And you needed to babysit him for that? Without telling us?" Esposito turned his eyes on her and Kate quickly tried to come up with an excuse.

"You would too if he'd been as annoying as he was. Plus his mom and daughter are out of town for today," she lied.

Esposito huffs and she could swear she saw Ryan roll his eyes, but at least their faces indicated they believed them.

"Anyway, what are you two doing here? You haven't been answering our calls so how did you know to come here?" Ryan asked and Kate looked around them.

"Called in and found out about it," Kate easily lied. "And we found this other property so we were just about to head over there."

"Really? Where?" Esposito asked and Castle showed him the piece of paper with the address on display. "That's weird, he doesn't have anything tied to him in our databases."

"Then it's definitely worth a check," Kate stated and the others agreed.

"Let's go," Ryan said and Kate hesitated before she opened her mouth again.

"Wait, there's something you two should know," she felt Castle's gaze land on her and she could hear the skip of a beat in his heartbeat. Her two brothers in arm turned back to them and gave her curious eyes, both of them waiting to hear what she had to tell them.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ _Thank you all for reading, and for your patience. I love reading your reviews and I know I almost never replies to them but that's simply because I try put every time I have over for fanfics to write them instead of answering reviews. But I still read them and I'm so damn thankful for them, they keep me going and keep my insecurities in check for a bit. Anyway, thanks again and hope you enjoy! Until next time, xxxx_


	15. Chapter 15

"How do you know he's connected to your shooting?" Ryan questioned and Kate looked at Castle who answered that question without missing a beat.

"He called me." The two detectives eyed the writer. "A couple days after the shooting a man contacted me telling me he was a friend of Montgomery's and that he'd struck a deal with the people behind the shooting to stay off Beckett if she stopped looking into Johanna's case. I told Beckett about it and we decided to look into it when it all had tempered down a bit. That's what we've been doing for the past few days."

"Why the hell didn't you tell us sooner?" Esposito asked, sounding accusing and if Castle was right he could also feel a bit hurt coming from him. He'd have to make a mental note to ask Kate if that was a feeling possible for them to read off people or if it was just his imagination.

Castle was starting to realize that he didn't know enough about being a werewolf to actually enjoy it happening to him. Plus, it was never his wish to be turned by anyone other than Kate herself. He wanted _her_ to be the one wanting to turn him. He wanted _her_ to want him to turn into one of her kind. He had even thought about the deal they made, them figuring everything out first and then she'd promised to turn him. He had already planned telling her he didn't want to be turned until she was ready to turn him, if she ever was.

"We didn't want to risk you two being within the crosshairs," Kate told the detectives and brought her partner back to the present. She'd noticed his mind wandering and was secretly wondering about what, but decided it was none of her business. _They had more important things to attend to_.

"Oh come on Beckett, you _know_ we much rather are by your side," Ryan hissed with a small anger on display.

Kate nodded, _of course she knew that_, that had been one of the reasons why she didn't want to involve them. If she'd been in charge she hadn't involved Rick either.

"Let's go find those files," Rick said and she felt grateful for not having to stay in that apartment for any longer than she'd needed to.

* * *

They arrived at the building fifteen minutes after they'd parted for separate cars to drive there. During the car ride Kate reminded her partner to not make any hasty movements and that if he was ever unsure of what to do then just to look at her and try to copy her movements. She could tell he was nervous but didn't bring it up, she did tangle her fingers through his though to show him he could count on her to help him.

"This looks like a reception for an office," Esposito stated when they went inside and looked around.

"Yeah, looks like it's been closed for a long time though," Kate agreed, noticing the dust laying like a coat over the floor. Except there were footprints not that old leading towards the steps.

"Are you seeing that?" her partner asked and she felt her brothers look at him with questionable faces.

"Yeah, looks like someone's tossed some of the boxes in the search of something," Kate pointed towards the cabinets behind the reception counter.

While Ryan and Esposito immediately went to check it out she gave Castle a reassuring look, nodding to tell him _yes, she'd seen the footprints too_.

"While you two look through there we'll continue further inside," Kate said and Castle didn't hesitate to follow her as she followed the prints on the floor.

They took the steps to find the person going there had gone to the fifth floor and into an empty office with a name tag saying "Smith".

"You see that too? What is that?" Castle asked and Kate observed the change in the floor.

"Yes, there must be something under." Kate walked up to the square sticking up a bit from the rest of the floor, it would've been almost impossible to notice for human eyes unless a laser was being used to search for bumps and abnormalities in the floor.

She took out her pocket knife and started carefully cutting the mat a few centimeters away from the square until she'd cut the whole square out. Castle helped her lift off the mat piece and came face to face with a hatch. The two of them met eyes before they simultaneously bent down to open it.

"It's a safe!" Castle exclaimed and Kate jumped at his loud voice. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Kate bent down and started turning the wheel while concentrating her ears on the clicks and clunks inside the safe. Castle opened his mouth but didn't dare more than let out an exhale when she glared at him to tell him to be quiet. Once the safe clicked to indicate it was opened Kate opened it with no hesitation at all.

"Wait!" Kate pushed his hand away when he was reaching inside to pick up the files.

"Ouch," he stated and she looked up to see him rubbing his ears with his fingers, he was still getting used to his heightened senses and hadn't learned how to shift his hearing just yet.

She chuckled because he looked stupid doing so, _and adorable_, but quickly schooled her features. "We don't know if there's a trap attached to the files, we need to be quick but careful."

He looked closer to the files, not touching them, and nodded in agreement. If Smith was smart he would definitely have a back-up plan in case the files were about to fall into the wrong hands.

"Then how about you go over there and I'll just grab it and run," Castle said and Kate shook her head.

"Not gonna happen," she argued. "You're just recovering from a bite, not going to risk losing you over some files." She felt his eyes on her but didn't meet them. "You stay back, I'll grab them."

He argued with her and she argued back. Eventually they decided to do it together, partially because they couldn't come to an agreement but also because they could hear footsteps on their way towards them from the stairs. _They could also hear their friends calling their names_.

Kate looked at Castle and he gave her a nod. She bent down and grabbed a hold of the files. Silently they counted to three and she pulled the files with her as they ran for the door. There was a click and before she could think he was putting his whole body around her beside the doorway to shelter her as a loud boom sounded behind them. When she realized he'd been using his own body as a shield to protect her she quickly pushed him off and turned around to search his body for injuries.

"Beckett?!" Esposito's voice echoed through the corridor along with Ryan's. "Castle?!"

Once she's satisfied he wasn't injured she looked at the files still in her hands before slapping his arm.

"What the hell Castle, you could've gotten hurt!" she hissed.

"But I didn't," he said and looked her up and down. "And neither did you."

She bit her tongue. _He was right, none of them were hurt_.

The sounds of their names echoed again, this time closer, and with only a few seconds of meeting eyes they answered at the same time.

"We're here! We're fine!"

The two detectives arrived a few minutes later with their breaths in their throats.

"What the hell happened?" Ryan panted.

"Sounded like a bomb?" Esposito added with question embedded in his voice.

"It was a bomb, a trigger going off the second we pulled this up," Kate explained and showed them the files she still held.

Kate opened up the files and together they took a few papers each in order to search for anything that could help them find out who's behind it all.

"Here's the original files with Montgomery's signature," Esposito stated and a silence fell over them as they looked at the signature their former captain had later changed in order to get himself out of suspicion.

Kate felt her eyes water at the memory of him confessing to her inside that hangar right before he died to save her. She still couldn't quite believe he'd been a part of it all, he had been her mentor and taken care of her for so long that she'd thought he was the perfect captain. She'd always looked up to him and prayed she'd become as good as he was. Now she knew that he had some dark past, but at the same time he'd worked harder than anyone else to redeem all the things he'd done. Besides, it hadn't been him pulling the trigger.

"This can't be right."

The sudden surprise in her partner's voice made them all turn to look at him in search of finding out what he's found.

"What?" Kate said when he didn't say anything more, just stared at the papers in his hands.

"It says here the man behind the account getting money from Raglan, Montgomery and McCallister is none other than William H. Bracken," Castle read.

"_William Bracken?!_" Ryan asked.

"_The senator_?" Kate's shock was immediate._ How could the senator be behind it all? _

"It says so right here," her partner showed them the papers.

They all stared at the words, none of them really believing the words. If the senator was behind it all then how the hell were they going to do this? Who could they trust? _Well_, they could've trusted Montgomery with all this but the new captain? Captain Victoria Gates? What if she was a part of it all?

Kate turned around in frustration, her hand running through her hair. She couldn't stop the growl from rumbling her throat and soon enough she's counting to ten silently to try and control her frustration.

"Is this enough to arrest him?" Castle asked as he started to look through the rest of the papers. "I mean it connects him to the stuff Montgomery and his buddies were up to."

"Yeah, but that doesn't prove he was the one ordering my mother's murder," Kate grumbled and thought about the werewolf who bit her partner. The fact that he'd been able to sneak into the apartment without her hearing him was strange but not an impossible task. It had only happened a few times before, since she's a cop she had an extra good ear for her surroundings. Her dad sneaked up on her once, and so did one of the other wolves she met at one of those meetings once a year.

"Maybe there's something else that could connect him specifically to her murder," Esposito mumbled and started looking through his stack of papers again.

"We should probably bring this somewhere safe, just in case someone else is after this," Ryan suggested after a few minutes and they all agreed.

They didn't get far as they met up with cops with drawn guns coming inside the entrance, immediately calling out they were cops and that they should stand still. Slow and careful they explained they were detectives as well, obviously Castle made it confusing saying he wasn't a cop but they sorted that out too. They hid the papers and said they had also heard the sound of the bomb and gotten there as fast as they could in order to check it out. After they'd helped the cops searching the area and pretending to find the bomb-site Esposito and Ryan gestured for Kate and Castle to skedaddle with the files.

"Where are we going?" Castle asked once he realized they weren't going for Kate's apartment.

"We're going to go speak with the wolf who tried to shoot me and bit you," she growled with displeasure. She already knew she'd have to restrain herself from throwing herself at him.


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N:** Hi all! So sorry for the super long wait. You have no idea how bad I feel knowing this fic has taken a year now and still isn't finished... especially when I myself enjoy reading fics so much and know how hard it is to wait for the next chapter... I hope you enjoy this chapter and I promise I'm trying my best to come to an ending soon, can't promise when though... (which also sucks). Anyway, hope you're all good and STAY SAFE! Wear masks, don't go out, and please think about your fellow human beings. We're all in this pandemic together, so let's make the best of it and think about each other. Love you guys, until next time xxxx_

* * *

Kate had almost lost her temper in there, _almost_. Castle had been the one to bring her back. Then _he_ had snapped and broken the nose of the other wolf. That's why they found themselves outside the cabin, where they had brought the wolf, taking deep breaths in order for him to calm down.

"Kate, why does it feel like my back wants to bend?"

She gestured for him to take another deep breath. "Because your body wants to change, but I don't think that's a great idea right now." Honestly she wasn't sure he was ready just yet, at least she wasn't ready.

"_Change?_ Don't I need a full moon for the first time?" he questioned with some fear in his tone which strongly showed exactly how not-ready he was. His wide eyes turned even wider as he looked at her with a shake in his head. "Don't answer that. I've already gotten the answer to that earlier."

She would've chuckled if it wasn't so obviously not the right time, plus she was too worried about him to be able to relax enough to let go.

"Just try to think about anything else, when I was a kid my parents told me to think about something that made me feel safe and calm," she told him and when she saw he couldn't concentrate she tried thinking of a way to help him further. "Close your eyes." He looked at her with question at first but then just complied. "Take deep breaths and picture yourself somewhere cozy."

She could tell he was concentrating as hard as he could, his eyes clenching shut and she could also tell he was trying _too_ hard. An idea popped into her mind and so she stepped closer to him, gently put her hand on his cheek before she slowly kissed him. The beating of his heart changed within seconds and it took no time for him to kiss her back just as sensuous as was possible and she couldn't stop the moan from leaving her lips. It wasn't her intention but she couldn't stop herself from asking entrance to his mouth and as soon as he granted her permission she also felt his hands land around her to close the distance between them. The kiss felt much more electric than it did before his bite and it was so addicting it took a lot of her mental strength to slow down the kiss and push away from him.

"Oh god," she sighed as she tried to calm herself.

"Yeah," Rick agreed as he was once again taking deep breaths, but this time because of something completely else.

"How are you feeling?" she asked while taking a couple deep breaths of her own.

He looked at her with a smile coming onto his lips. "Yeah, I definitely feel better."

She chuckled, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth in order to bite it. They stared at each other for a couple minutes before Earl came out from the cabin to interrupt them.

"Hey, Kate, your boyfriend okay?" Uncle Earl asked and Kate immediately cleared her throat to clear her thoughts from her partner.

"Yeah, much better. How's the nose?"

"Hmpf, it's already healing unfortunately. I would love to crack it again if I could," Earl growled.

The older man was about the same age as her father and had been a good friend to the family for as long as Kate could remember.

"Do you know a guy named William Bracken?" Earl questioned and Kate almost choked on her own saliva.

"So the senator really is behind this?!" she exclaimed.

Castle growled beside her and she once again changed her focus to him, grabbing his hand in hers in order to hug it gently.

"Seems like it, but from what we got out of him after a bit more _convincing_ the senator doesn't know anything about us. And the hunters will come the day after tomorrow," Earl told them.

"Did he say how many?" Kate questioned as she felt worry invade her body. _Castle wasn't ready__._

"Not before he passed out," Earl sounded disappointed and Kate felt the stress-level inside her rise higher.

"Damnit," she muttered and she felt Castle tug on her hand to get her attention.

"We should get back to the boys before they start looking for us again."

Kate nodded, that would probably be for the best.

"We should go to my loft and text the boys that's where we are and start looking into those files," he suggested and Kate thought about it. She didn't exactly like his idea of being at his loft but then again if the senator somehow found out about them having the files then he would most likely send guys to her apartment first.

"Okay," she agreed after some more thinking before turning back to Earl. "Thanks for everything, call my dad if you find out anything else."

"No problem kid," the older man said as he opened his arms for her to step into them. "Be careful," he told her during the hug. "You too, good luck with the first change," he said to her partner and she bit her lip.

_Hopefully they would be able to take time and go through the first change soon, before it became a problem. _

* * *

They arrived at the loft just a few minutes before Ryan and Esposito were knocking on the door wanting to come in. Castle quickly, faster than human possible and Kate could tell he was shocked by the speed, laid out all the papers from the files across his desk and floor in order to make it look like they'd been there all along.

Kate let the two detectives in and then the four of them went to immediate work with the files. It all led to the same conclusion. Senator William H. Bracken was the one behind the murder of Johanna Beckett. They already knew who had done the actual killing but now they knew for sure who was behind ordering it.

Now they just had to think out their next move. Who did they tell? Gates? Someone higher? Did they just release it all to the press? _If only Montgomery had still been alive, he would've known what to do. _

"How about we send copies to a lot of people?" Castle suggested and the three detectives looked at him for him to continue with an explanation. "Let's make copies and send to like three papers, some of the higher judges, 1PP and then lastly walk into Gates' office and show her the original while knowing she can't stop anything if she's involved because there will soon be news about it all over the place."

"That's…" Esposito started and Kate could tell he had been about to say ridiculous when he stopped and thought about it. "...not bad. But perhaps we shouldn't show her the originals in case she gets it into her head to destroy it, let's show her a copy as well."

"Yeah, but where should we put the original? If we go there all four of us and she somehow manages to keep us there or something similar then who will make sure it's safe?" Ryan asked and Kate bit her lip.

"Me and Castle will do it. You two just stay away with the originals."

"We're not taking it to my place," Ryan quickly stated and when they gave him a questioning gaze he just had to say one name. "Jenny."

"We'll take it to my place then and stay there until you give the all clear," Esposito agreed.

"Let's get on with it. Castle, do you own a copy machine?" Kate asked and the writer snorted.

"Why would I?"

She gave him a look. "You're a writer. Plus you got everything looking like a toy."

"Touché, but no. We can go to Black Pawns tho," he suggested and Kate thought about it.

"You sure they will let you in long enough to print enough copies?" Ryan questioned.

"Well, I have a keycard so who says they have to find out?" He shrugged his shoulders and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Then why are we still standing here, let's go," Esposito said as he started gathering all papers back into the file.

The four were just about to go out the door when Alexis came through the front door. The redhead got a confused and questionable look on her face as she studied them.

"What's going on?" the teenager looked first to the detective her father was in love with but then looked at the man who gave her half of her genes.

Castle couldn't seem to get his eyes off his daughter, he was stunned by how easily he could suddenly see the resemblances there were between himself and Meredith in her. How had he not noticed them before? He'd always thought she didn't look _that_ much alike them even though she had _some _resemblances but now it's like every pour is either him or Meredith. Also, that inexplicable love he'd told Kate about a couple years ago just deepened by a hundred.

"We're deep into a case," Kate said and Castle suddenly remembered the danger they were in.

"Yeah, and it would be perfect if you could sleep over with your friends, I'll also call your gram to have her do one of her spa resort-things."

Alexis got a horrified look on her face. "Dad, are you in danger?"

"No, I'm not…" Castle started saying but didn't know how to continue the sentence. That's when his partner jumped in to help him.

"What he means is that there is a risk and while I can keep an eye on him it's better for you to stay at a friend's home."

A few silent seconds passed before the girl nodded. "Okay, I'll call Paige."

The teenager ran up the stairs with her phone already pressed to her ear. With only a look passed around the four adults they all knew Castle wouldn't want to go before his daughter was out of the loft as well, and so they waited for her to leave before they too left for Black Pawn.

Once they were there they didn't waste any time. Castle showed the way to the copy machines and made sure to remind them to try and stay unseen. Which all three detectives just snorted at, if anyone was to give them away it would be the writer himself. At a few moments they did have to hide around a corner but fortunately they didn't have to hide as they made the copies. The second they were done with all copies they decided to divide into their two groups and go out place all the copies to various news stations, both paper and television. They'd decided to meet up back at Esposito's after they were done and to tell Gates the first thing in the morning the next day. While placing the copies of the files Kate and Rick got to talking. After a while Rick silenced and Kate didn't know why but kept quiet as well in order to give him space to think.

"Kate?"

She looks at the man beside her. "Yeah?"

"When the hunters come, what do we do?" he asked and she could both see and sense the fear filling his body.

"Well, they only know about me, so you stay out of it," she said with a determined tone and his eyes widened.

"Bu-what if they catch you? Are they sure you're a wolf? How can they make sure, do they have to make sure?" he started babbling and she couldn't even get to answer the first question before he was asking the next.

And so she just stayed quiet until his questions died out and he craved the answers more than giving out more questions.

"Earl is on it, hopefully they can make a trail leading them away from me. In the meantime I just have to stay alert and not change for a while," she told him. "Usually they make sure by observing and then if they are somewhat positive they walk past you and pretend to bump into you while also giving you a small cut. Then they observe to see if the cut heals quickly or not."

"How do you keep it from healing?"

She smiled at the devious way they'd managed to stay hidden for five years now. "We've discovered a lotion we can put on the wound to keep it open."

"Oh."

She immediately saw the relaxation entering his body, sensing the fear leaving him, not completely but almost. For a couple minutes he's quiet again before voicing his next thought.

"What do you mean when you want me to stay out of it?"

She bit her lip. _That would be the hard part__._

"I don't want you anywhere near me apart from work. They cannot know we spend time together outside of work, they can't know we're more than a detective and a shadow," she told him with her teeth clenching shut afterwards. She didn't want him to stay away, not _now_, not when they've _finally _admitted to their feelings. _Not_ when he _just_ found out they're _soulmates_.

His shoulders slumped and she nudged her shoulder with his. "We can do it, it's just a week or two."

"A _week_?!" he exclaimed and she could practically _hear_ his inner screams. _I won't last that long. _


End file.
